This has been a busy day.....I have been out shopping with our daughter and the two youngest grandchildren. We visited a continental market in a nearby town and sampled some choice cheeses and specialty cakes. It was raining heavily and the market was outdoors so we didn't browse as long as we'd have liked, had the weather been fine.

Then I was taken shopping to choose something for my birthday gift (I can't say what I chose yet because I'm really not meant to know!!!) Our eldest grandson, Josh, was convinced nana should have a new dress but I declined the offer as I'm not a "dress" person. I love the thought though...isn't it lovely that a young boy of almost 6 yrs. of age could be observant enough to want to give such a nice pressie! :)

After swimming lessons for the two grandsons tonight we all gathered here for a treat of yummy take-away chinese food from a local restaurant. Working in the shop was also fitted in to this busy day...and nana is bushed now...time for bed!

Jane...the book is on order (nice to hear from you!)...thanks for remembering. Things will improve with this depression, given time.

I've been avoiding updating my blog...depression issues mostly! One of our lovely customers has just returned home from a 3-day retreat and presented me with a little prayer card and a container of holy water. I have no experience of this type of gesture, never being a participant in RC tradition.

Despite not being really sure what the water is meant to signify, I was very touched that she cared about me enough to be praying for my peace of mind and heart over the last few weeks and also that she'd remember me while on retreat. I likely will use the water for my plants as I do not think there is any significance to it having special power or anything....but I like to think of this water as nourishment for my beloved plant....kind of like passing on a blessing iyswim.

I'm not sure how often I will update this blog...I am now keeping some journal notes only for my eyes...a part of what I believe will be a significant process to my recovery from this depression that has haunted me for the last four years.

I feel special and loved today...all through the gesture of this lady who I might add has only recently been bereaved after caring for her husband for many years. Now that is a woman who, despite her own personal grief, has the capacity to think and pray for others.

I'm yearning for quiet and stillness....haven't found it yet though! I get days like this (even weeks) when the noise of cars, emergency vehicles, kids outside the shop....it just all seems too busy!

A nice long stretch of seashore with some seagulls for company and maybe clear skies and an ending of the day sunset really turns my crank right now....every girl's gotta dream. lol

Whatever you are yearning for....may it be granted. Have a good weekend. :)

I've been laying low the last few days for no particular reason except not feeling too inspired about writing!

I am being entertained atm by Nick Jr. tv as I have the youngest 2 grandkids here while mommy & Bryn are out at appointments and running errands. I think I've mentioned on my blog previously that their mom & Bryn were married this past summer. Newly married and Bryn taking on 3 young children (what a brave and wonderful fella!) means they don't get much time for just the "two" of them. It's been nice to surprise them by having the 2 grandkids for a few hours. Nana enjoys the company too!

They've been eating a rather varied amount of food since their arrival too....cereal (on arrival), juice/milk, chocolate digestive biscuits and peanut butter/jam sandwiches. Iona-Mae has also polished off an apple inbetween all the rest! Do young children (2.5 yrs. & 4.5 yrs.) have hollow legs I ask myself?????

They are being very good for nana and that's just fine by me. Oops...here comes Iona with the shape-sorter....needs nana....so, til later.....

What's a woman to do???

My depression is lifting somewhat and I have my regular appointment today with the therapist. I need this appointment! I went to my GP yesterday to get my weight, BP and tablets checked and was very shocked and disappointed to find I had gained a lot of weight since my last appointment (6 wks. ago). Comfort eating and laziness (don't care feelings) seem to go hand in hand with my depression...a very uncomfortable cycle.

I am tired...and sick and tired of feeling like this. I am taking up reading magazines/books that have positive/uplifting suggestions for tackling my depression. I've found a website that I believe will prove helpful to me as well. Wish me luck! This has hung around just too darn long....so much so that I am alternating between feeling sorry for myself and feeling extremely angry that I am not in control.

I am sorry to be so "down" on this blog....I just have to get it out somewhere and this seems as good a place as any to begin. If you find my depression upsets you....sorry, you'll have to give the blog a miss for awhile until my head/heart/actions get it together iyswim.

It's a beautiful, sunny day today and so I'm going out to enjoy it!! Seems a good way to cheer myself up, don't you think?

Jane, a blogger herself, asks about our favoured parenting site. Advance notice was given that the site would be down for the weekend (just gone) for necessary repairs/re-twigging. I think it should be back in action by today but haven't checked as yet.

Hope you are enjoying Labour Day Weekend, Jane. Hello to my fellow Canadians from the other side of the pond.

Til later.....

Jane, you replied regarding the excessive cost of activites to accommodate children here in the UK. I totally agree. The cost of amusement parks, zoo/safari parks, museums (public ones are normally free; private ones are not)...and then add into that the cost of any accommodation or food and it makes for a very expensive day out/holiday here.

It is a 6 week period of difficult days for families without the means to travel/visit these attractions. For these families school comes as a welcome addition to their lives....boredom gets less of a hold on their children.

And yes Jane...I love autumn too....the smells, rustling through fallen leaves, the colours....it's magic. Now...just have to set aside some time away from the shop on a regular basis to get out there and enjoy it! lol

I've been very slack this week with my blog...apologies if anyone is regularly taking a peek. I'm having one of those horrible kind of "blah" weeks which hit me with too much regularity. I may post about my depression at another time...not feeling in the right space atm to do it now.

Suffice it to say I am getting help through my gp and therapist which, although slow to kick in, I firmly believe issues that have plagued me for all of my life will be looked at a bit at a time and I will learn new ways of dealing with those I can handle and get a handle on coping and not moping for the rest of my life.

My therapist has asked me to think about what really makes me happy? It's troublesome when I think on that....not many answers to take back to him when I go this next week. :(

There is an annual air show taking place not too far from us today and I've just spoken to our daughter as they are preparing to take their children to the event....it's a nasty day weatherwise out there (rain, rain, go away.....come again another day....). I suggested she cut holes for head and arms in black bin bags to go over her two eldest boys as they have outgrown their raingear. Somehow we agreed the boys wouldn't exactly find that very amusing! lol But they're all excited and raring to go. They'll have a fab day and having lunch with her dh's parents and off to the air show.

In the UK....some days you just have to go for it...no matter what the weather!!! Looks like it's rainy season for the foreseeable future...although we keep hoping for an Indian Summer, trying to look on the optimistic side!!!