Saturday, January 03, 2009

For personal reasons I do not know which day I will proceed with my blog. I am in the midst of a possible life-changing crisis and it is something too undecided and personal to write about presently. I would just please ask for your prayers. I am in God's hands. And please do not worry or is not drug related and I am not suicidal as in the past.

It is all good. All will be well. All manner of things will be well. I BELIEVE.

Your support in prayer is appreciated. xxx


Friday, January 02, 2009

Little Snowman

Well, I am almost back with you and it's been a very traumatic few days.
I have spent the time over this Christmas being detoxified (is that a word? lol) from the horror that is the addiction of Seroxat, the antidepressant.

Because this has been a hard few days, I wanted to include a little lightheartedness into my you will not think I have abandonded all hope of being a sane woman once again! Believe me over the last coupe of weeks this though has crossed my mind over and over again.

When will I get "me" back.
Now there's a BIG QUESTION.

WELL IN SHORT (or not so short because I seem to have awakened to life and the gift of chatter in a BIG I have been to hell and back over the last six years and this blog entry will try and "tell it like it was/is." I will make no apologies for it's length or its content. It is something I have to it therapeutic...and forgive me if at times it all gets a bit "emotional" or "deep" or "confusing". Just know that for 6 years I have been near enough unable to string two thoughts together or complete a task without lots of confusion, sometimes tears of frustration...and often the worst feeling of all....I WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS! So indulge me, and please comment on how you've found my blog entry today or any other day. I would so like the feedback.

Here goes!

Back to the black and white...because that what my world has been like on the antidepressant SEROXAT. Only now because I can actually think a sentence or instruction through to the point of minimally understanding it to actually what for me is a major victory....being able to actually execute the conversation or circumstance.

If you have been with me in person or viewed me on my YouTube videos, or maybe just stumbled upon this blog today...I am glad and thankful for anyone who reads this and my hope is it will give others with depression and antidepressant complications, a window of hope. I know when I was at my worst, even stories such as I will relate here, in what could be a little mini-series, just let me rant, explore and find the new me! It's wrapped up in a not so pretty parcel sometimes but then after 6 years of hell who in their right mind (pun intended) would want to read these entrees UNLESS they really loved me and wanted all that was best . ALL WILL BE WELL, ALL MANNER OF THINGS SHALL BE WELL. Write that down QUICK because they ae words tha have a lot of truth in them.

So...if you travel with me (and incidentally I am not going private just at this time so feel free to comment). I was considering in my last blog entry to make it private as there were some concerns about internet thieving of youtube videos, infringement of copyright and just think how a woman of 60 years, with a muddled brain due to SEROXAT, was so not-thinking of he better good.

So here I am now, warts and all, but wonderfully happy that the toys have been put back in my playpen (now there's one for the books as usually it's said in reverse for a spoiled child...!!). I can play, laugh, learn, "do", think, cry, and in the midst of all of that I can even BELIEVE FOR A YEAR AHEAD THAT WILL BE SPECTACULARLY BRIGHT FOR ME....AND FOR YOU TOO, IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH IT!

May The Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you
and give you HIS PEACE.

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Monday, December 15, 2008


I am considering making this blog PRIVATE in the coming days. If you regularly view my blog, could you please contact me when the announcement is decided so I can continue to share our family news with you...along with any tidbits of observations I find to include in my ramblings.

A NEW YEAR COMETH.....time to change??



This is to let my readers know that HappyCabbie that I have mentioned previously in the last week or so, has relocated to Tampa, Florida. He has a court appearance tomorrow (Monday) to sort out a long overdue parking ticket as the collections made on his behalf via his YT friends have enabled him to pay the costs. This comes as a great relief to him. He is calling this STAGE 1. I'll keep posting of his ongoing rehabiitation back into mainstream living again.

This is a most wonderful piece of news and makes the whole theme of going from DARKNESS to LIGHT (the Advent theme) so powerful to me this year.

I pray he will continue to put down roots in the community of his choice and he tells us he will embark on a job search asap, after this outstanding parking ticket is settled. It is such good news to share with my readers today.


Sunday, December 14, 2008

OH DEAR...getting too fancy!

I apologize to my readers...I've been getting a little too adventuresome and began to alter the appearance of my blog! The trouble all started at about 1.30am today when I awoke having fallen asleep in my lazyboy chair (not been to bed yet and it's now 3.45am as I compose readers will not be surprised at this pattern...I've made a habit of this now for a few months, off and on!) problem I created was deleting my photo from my profile description...somehow I'll get it corrected. My old photo (with the orange dress..remember???) well I wanted to change it to this new photo (seen here) and well, as you've guessed, I've deleted the old photo and the means to put up my new one! All is not lost...I can fix it by reading all the bloggers' tips (never found all those helpful tips until my litle excursion tonight into "altering my blog!) I am just a lady with a few surprises up her sleeve...get used to it folks! I'm coming awake after being on anti-depressants for the last 6plus years and the fog is lifting! So I can now "concentrate" better than I have been doing for all this period. And you did that happen? Well, let me explain.....I have found a helpmate (well more than one...but one inparticular) See the lovely Fiona's webpage!

So, I just offer you this explanation (you've not had to endure with me the different layouts of my "revised" blog that kept appearing online tonight....never did work out why the changes were happening instantly...another problem to investigate. But now I have the means to do so...I discovered there is loads of help on Blogger for "newbies" like me. Never too old to learn some new tricks...come on, agree with me! lol

I'd like to post some pictures from our's decorated up (well almost finished!) for Christmas but my camera is it's not the operator!!...and won't download the photos onto my 'puter. Another learning curve coming up I hear you say! lol (It's ok, you can laugh with me...I'm laughing at myself).

And remember...I'm also into vlogging and produce rare videos on my YTube channel. I am just in the midst of editing what will be a very interesting "new" video going up on my channel sometime this weekend. Here's the link to my channel....maybe you'd like to "bookmark" it so you can call back on the vlog another day as it's updated...
No pressure, you understand. hehe

Right...that's it for today (tonight, this morning, for now!!!....I don't know what day it is never mind what time....I think I'm bushed!). Will I sleep...won't I sleep...hmmm, well there's still more christmas deccies that need putting out in the dining room and it's full of the empty boxes from all that I've put out already. Watch for piccies...coming soon on a blog near you! (nana's news!)

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

This is becoming an addiction.
I listened to quite a few videos where Dominique sings
and this one is worthy of note. She wrote it herself and well,
have a listen...the words say it beautifully.
Enjoy! and Happy Advent too!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Our son sent me a link to a lovely children's choir who have won the 2008 Songs of Praise award for their singing. It is a most catchy tune, a difficult one too and boy do they carry it off to perfection.

It's just inspired me to post it here. I hope you enjoy this offering as much as I have...listening to it many times over since first hearing it a day or two ago.


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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I have news of HAPPYCABBIE!

Things are looking gooder and gooder (lol) for this lovely man.

This YouTube link will update you on how things are turning around for him.

(You can read about his plight on my blog entry for 6th December)