Saturday, January 03, 2009

For personal reasons I do not know which day I will proceed with my blog. I am in the midst of a possible life-changing crisis and it is something too undecided and personal to write about presently. I would just please ask for your prayers. I am in God's hands. And please do not worry or is not drug related and I am not suicidal as in the past.

It is all good. All will be well. All manner of things will be well. I BELIEVE.

Your support in prayer is appreciated. xxx


Friday, January 02, 2009

Little Snowman

Well, I am almost back with you and it's been a very traumatic few days.
I have spent the time over this Christmas being detoxified (is that a word? lol) from the horror that is the addiction of Seroxat, the antidepressant.

Because this has been a hard few days, I wanted to include a little lightheartedness into my you will not think I have abandonded all hope of being a sane woman once again! Believe me over the last coupe of weeks this though has crossed my mind over and over again.

When will I get "me" back.
Now there's a BIG QUESTION.

WELL IN SHORT (or not so short because I seem to have awakened to life and the gift of chatter in a BIG I have been to hell and back over the last six years and this blog entry will try and "tell it like it was/is." I will make no apologies for it's length or its content. It is something I have to it therapeutic...and forgive me if at times it all gets a bit "emotional" or "deep" or "confusing". Just know that for 6 years I have been near enough unable to string two thoughts together or complete a task without lots of confusion, sometimes tears of frustration...and often the worst feeling of all....I WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS! So indulge me, and please comment on how you've found my blog entry today or any other day. I would so like the feedback.

Here goes!

Back to the black and white...because that what my world has been like on the antidepressant SEROXAT. Only now because I can actually think a sentence or instruction through to the point of minimally understanding it to actually what for me is a major victory....being able to actually execute the conversation or circumstance.

If you have been with me in person or viewed me on my YouTube videos, or maybe just stumbled upon this blog today...I am glad and thankful for anyone who reads this and my hope is it will give others with depression and antidepressant complications, a window of hope. I know when I was at my worst, even stories such as I will relate here, in what could be a little mini-series, just let me rant, explore and find the new me! It's wrapped up in a not so pretty parcel sometimes but then after 6 years of hell who in their right mind (pun intended) would want to read these entrees UNLESS they really loved me and wanted all that was best . ALL WILL BE WELL, ALL MANNER OF THINGS SHALL BE WELL. Write that down QUICK because they ae words tha have a lot of truth in them.

So...if you travel with me (and incidentally I am not going private just at this time so feel free to comment). I was considering in my last blog entry to make it private as there were some concerns about internet thieving of youtube videos, infringement of copyright and just think how a woman of 60 years, with a muddled brain due to SEROXAT, was so not-thinking of he better good.

So here I am now, warts and all, but wonderfully happy that the toys have been put back in my playpen (now there's one for the books as usually it's said in reverse for a spoiled child...!!). I can play, laugh, learn, "do", think, cry, and in the midst of all of that I can even BELIEVE FOR A YEAR AHEAD THAT WILL BE SPECTACULARLY BRIGHT FOR ME....AND FOR YOU TOO, IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH IT!

May The Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you
and give you HIS PEACE.

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