Nana's news

2009-01-03T10:05:00.000Z

For personal reasons I do not know which day I will proceed with my blog. I am in the midst of a possible life-changing crisis and it is something too undecided and personal to write about presently. I would just please ask for your prayers. I am in God's hands. And please do not worry or fret...it is not drug related and I am not suicidal as in the past.

It is all good. All will be well. All manner of things will be well. I BELIEVE.

Your support in prayer is appreciated. xxx

2009-01-02T04:48:00.005Z

Little Snowman

Well, I am almost back with you and it's been a very traumatic few days.
I have spent the time over this Christmas being detoxified (is that a word? lol) from the horror that is the addiction of Seroxat, the antidepressant.

Because this has been a hard few days, I wanted to include a little lightheartedness into my blog...so you will not think I have abandonded all hope of being a sane woman once again! Believe me over the last coupe of weeks this though has crossed my mind over and over again.

When will I get "me" back.
Now there's a BIG QUESTION.

WELL IN SHORT (or not so short because I seem to have awakened to life and the gift of chatter in a BIG way...lol. I have been to hell and back over the last six years and this blog entry will try and "tell it like it was/is." I will make no apologies for it's length or its content. It is something I have to write...call it therapeutic...and forgive me if at times it all gets a bit "emotional" or "deep" or "confusing". Just know that for 6 years I have been near enough unable to string two thoughts together or complete a task without lots of confusion, sometimes tears of frustration...and often the worst feeling of all....I WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS! So indulge me, and please comment on how you've found my blog entry today or any other day. I would so like the feedback.

Here goes!

Back to the black and white...because that what my world has been like on the antidepressant SEROXAT. Only now because I can actually think a sentence or instruction through to the point of minimally understanding it to actually what for me is a major victory....being able to actually execute the conversation or circumstance.

If you have been with me in person or viewed me on my YouTube videos, or maybe just stumbled upon this blog today...I am glad and thankful for anyone who reads this and my hope is it will give others with depression and antidepressant complications, a window of hope. I know when I was at my worst, even stories such as I will relate here, in what could be a little mini-series, just let me rant, explore and find the new me! It's wrapped up in a not so pretty parcel sometimes but then after 6 years of hell who in their right mind (pun intended) would want to read these entrees UNLESS they really loved me and wanted all that was best . ALL WILL BE WELL, ALL MANNER OF THINGS SHALL BE WELL. Write that down QUICK because they ae words tha have a lot of truth in them.

So...if you travel with me (and incidentally I am not going private just at this time so feel free to comment). I was considering in my last blog entry to make it private as there were some concerns about internet thieving of youtube videos, infringement of copyright and just think how a woman of 60 years, with a muddled brain due to SEROXAT, was so not-thinking of he better good.

So here I am now, warts and all, but wonderfully happy that the toys have been put back in my playpen (now there's one for the books as usually it's said in reverse for a spoiled child...!!). I can play, laugh, learn, "do", think, cry, and in the midst of all of that I can even BELIEVE FOR A YEAR AHEAD THAT WILL BE SPECTACULARLY BRIGHT FOR ME....AND FOR YOU TOO, IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH IT!

May The Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you
and give you HIS PEACE.

2008-12-15T02:59:00.003Z

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

I am considering making this blog PRIVATE in the coming days. If you regularly view my blog, could you please contact me when the announcement is decided so I can continue to share our family news with you...along with any tidbits of observations I find to include in my ramblings.

A NEW YEAR COMETH.....time to change??

2008-12-15T02:52:00.001Z

HAPPYCABBIE....Update

This is to let my readers know that HappyCabbie that I have mentioned previously in the last week or so, has relocated to Tampa, Florida. He has a court appearance tomorrow (Monday) to sort out a long overdue parking ticket as the collections made on his behalf via his YT friends have enabled him to pay the costs. This comes as a great relief to him. He is calling this STAGE 1. I'll keep posting of his ongoing rehabiitation back into mainstream living again.

This is a most wonderful piece of news and makes the whole theme of going from DARKNESS to LIGHT (the Advent theme) so powerful to me this year.

I pray he will continue to put down roots in the community of his choice and he tells us he will embark on a job search asap, after this outstanding parking ticket is settled. It is such good news to share with my readers today.

2008-12-14T03:44:00.004Z

OH DEAR...getting too fancy!

I apologize to my readers...I've been getting a little too adventuresome and began to alter the appearance of my blog! The trouble all started at about 1.30am today when I awoke having fallen asleep in my lazyboy chair (not been to bed yet and it's now 3.45am as I compose this...lol...some readers will not be surprised at this pattern...I've made a habit of this now for a few months, off and on!) SO...one problem I created was deleting my photo from my profile description...somehow I'll get it corrected. My old photo (with the orange dress..remember???) well I wanted to change it to this new photo (seen here) and well, as you've guessed, I've deleted the old photo and the means to put up my new one! All is not lost...I can fix it by reading all the bloggers' tips (never found all those helpful tips until my litle excursion tonight into "altering my blog!) I am just a lady with a few surprises up her sleeve...get used to it folks! I'm coming awake after being on anti-depressants for the last 6plus years and the fog is lifting! So I can now "concentrate" better than I have been doing for all this period. And you ask...how did that happen? Well, let me explain.....I have found a helpmate (well more than one...but one inparticular)...www.moonlightessence.co.uk See the lovely Fiona's webpage!

So, I just offer you this explanation (you've not had to endure with me the different layouts of my "revised" blog that kept appearing online tonight....never did work out why the changes were happening instantly...another problem to investigate. But now I have the means to do so...I discovered there is loads of help on Blogger for "newbies" like me. Never too old to learn some new tricks...come on, agree with me! lol

I'd like to post some pictures from our home...it's decorated up (well almost finished!) for Christmas but my camera is manfunctioning...no it's not the operator!!...and won't download the photos onto my 'puter. Another learning curve coming up I hear you say! lol (It's ok, you can laugh with me...I'm laughing at myself).

And remember...I'm also into vlogging and produce rare videos on my YTube channel. I am just in the midst of editing what will be a very interesting "new" video going up on my channel sometime this weekend. Here's the link to my channel....maybe you'd like to "bookmark" it so you can call back on the vlog another day as it's updated... www.youtube.com/whistonlass
No pressure, you understand. hehe

Right...that's it for today (tonight, this morning, for now!!!....I don't know what day it is never mind what time....I think I'm bushed!). Will I sleep...won't I sleep...hmmm, well there's still more christmas deccies that need putting out in the dining room and it's full of the empty boxes from all that I've put out already. Watch for piccies...coming soon on a blog near you! (nana's news!)

2008-12-11T08:34:00.002Z

This is becoming an addiction.
I listened to quite a few videos where Dominique sings
and this one is worthy of note. She wrote it herself and well,
have a listen...the words say it beautifully.
Enjoy! and Happy Advent too!

2008-12-10T06:43:00.001Z

Our son sent me a link to a lovely children's choir who have won the 2008 Songs of Praise award for their singing. It is a most catchy tune, a difficult one too and boy do they carry it off to perfection.

It's just inspired me to post it here. I hope you enjoy this offering as much as I have...listening to it many times over since first hearing it a day or two ago.

ENJOY!

2008-12-09T02:24:00.001Z

I have news of HAPPYCABBIE!

Things are looking gooder and gooder (lol) for this lovely man.

This YouTube link will update you on how things are turning around for him.

(You can read about his plight on my blog entry for 6th December)

2008-12-08T08:35:00.000Z

Kiddies' mischief tales...

This little fellow we reckon was busy yesterday when visiting nana and grandpa's house. :) Well I should say, it is a wild guess on our part. Let me explain...

This morning hubby was in our shop downstairs and tried unsuccessfully to use the telephone there. We have the homebase for the shop phone plugged in upstairs .

Hubby (grandpa) worked it out. We think little man here to the right....cute ain't he?...may just have had a little tinker with the on/off wall switch which controls the homebase of our shop phone.

On inspection grandpa discovered both switches on that particular socket had been mysteriously switched off! lol
We reckon it isn't rocket science to work this out. Our little-almost-2-year-old has had a little play with the switches (boys will be boys!!...lol). All is fixed now and we've had a chuckle over it all....so he's not in any BIG trouble at all. After all, we didn't actually "see" him do it and he's hardly going to 'fess up now is he?

Love our grandkids to bits and we had a noisy but lovely surprise visit with them yesterday late-afternoon when they called by after a family trip out as a delayed birthday treat for our eldest grandson, Josh....who was 8 years old on 2nd December! He's getting soooooo big. Oh...and the little man above....why that's Nathaniel. Looks a picture of innocence, eh?

2008-12-06T08:24:00.003Z

THE YOUTUBE COMMUNITY

There often comes a time when my faith in human nature is restored and the last few days it has certainly happened for me. The regular readers of my blog will know that I've ventured into putting up videos on YouTube...it has been an interesting and instructive addition to my days!

The circumstance that has me hanging near to my 'puter, lifting prayers to heaven and taking hold of my thoughts is the story of a YTuber called HAPPYCABBIE.

One of my tags on a forum I frequent says "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!". This lovely man, HappyCabbie, has had some help to get the lemonade recipe...thus my faith in human nature is restored, as I mentioned previously.

In brief...this is a bit on info about this gentle soul. HC has been making the most fantastic models from balloons and posts about it on YouTube. He fell on hard times and was in another part of the USA to his home state and was living in a shelter, making balloon sculptures (very intricately I might add) and sort of "ticking over." Things got tougher and he was involved in a traffic accident a few days ago, found himself miles from his shelter accommodation, injured and in hospital, his few belongings mainly in his now-wrecked car stored in a police compound, in A&E in the hospital with leg and back injuries....no money, no apparent friends and a hospital who just wanted him out! (His injuries were not serious enough for an extended hospital stay.)

HC was thrust out onto the street once again, somehow managed to find a second hostel for the night and with the help of YT friends who are collecting $$$$$ for him, he hopes to be able to return to Phoenix, Arizona where he can be close to friends & family. The latest word came to us this morning via a YT friend (HC doesn't have internet access at the moment) is that he made it back to his original hostel so is warm, dry and safe. Whew, thank God!

The messages on YT for HC are in the hundreds. He has so captured many hearts and we are all waiting for updates and the word that says he's been able to purchase a bus ticket with the donations and is on his way to Phoenix.

I know this is a long blog entry. I just needed to tell you about HC (I'll post a link or two at the end of this blog entry in case you'd like to find out more or keep up to date on his circumstances). The outpouring of love, prayers and practical help which HC is receiving through an online community (YouTube) has restored my faith in human nature this day.

It reminds me of the upcoming event we will soon celebrate where the Saviour of the World had nowhere to lay his head. I am grateful this day for the response of my fellow YouTubers to HappyCabbie's plight...and to know that at least for now, HC has a shelter where he is warm, dry and safe....and he has a place to lay his head. Keep him in your prayers and give God thanks for people who care.

But for the grace of God, go I. A very sobering thought.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMjRNlXV_fg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trzCy3OxZbk

2008-12-04T09:43:00.002Z

JUSTICE FOR JAMES

I have received a video link this morning regarding the RED BALLOON CENTRE, a proposed centre to assist children who are the victims of bullying. It is something positive that can come from a tragedy, the murder of James.

I thought I'd post a link to this video and also a link to the Red Balloon Centre website. Maybe you'd like to take a peek?

The web address for the Red Balloon Centre is http://redballoonlearner.co.uk/news.htm

2008-11-29T04:49:00.002Z

I've been mindful as the newscasts become more
disheartening, the job losses seem to be galloping ahead,
the "hot spots" around our world keep popping up in new
places....
that there are a couple of things that will help me, and you get through. This little picture I've added to today's blog is one positive influence in my life, and I pray in yours too that will help you to get through any tough days, anxious moments, even desperate situations when all about you might appear gloomy and hopeless. There are few people I've known in my life who can manage without BEST FRIENDS. Well, certainly for me I have some I would call best friends...who have been there for me...and allowed me to return that friendship. I am blessed. And you are blessed too when you can take time to reflect on friendships past and present and how, when things looked at their bleakest, that BEST FRIEND was at your side...cheering you on....offering you their hand to help you up when you fall...showing you how to laugh at yourself...crying with you when things are just too, too hard to handle...and because these things often go full circle...there will come a day when you can do the same for them. I won't even try to name names here in my blog. BEST FRIENDS will instantly recognize how special they are to me as they read this. So, for today I'm just recording here how much I have to be thankful for. May you always have BEST FRIENDS to share your life, with all its twists and turns and may you realize the double blessing when you can be that best friend too.

2008-11-22T02:24:00.002Z

IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG!!!

I have had a rather busy month and my blog has been the casualty!

Almost a month ago I had a surprise message from my Canadian niece to say she was going to come for a visit and would arrive in a week's time!

This photo (to the left) is one of the things we did together at our daughter's home. We celebrated my niece's 56th birthday :-) !!

My niece arrived in Manchester and spent 3 and a half weeks here with us. After her jet lag subsided she was right into cleaning mode! She did me such a good turn, really she did. Anyone who knows Linda will realize she isn't one to sit still and looking at my kitchen units and tiles she realized they were overdue for a good scrub. And she was off!! (lol) I now have a sparkling bunch of kitchen units and backsplash of tiles underneath the wall units. She quickly discovered the cleaning properties of Bicarbonate of Soda.

This was a real gift to me as my agility is sorely tested these days and climbing up onto kitchen countertops to clean units and tiles was beyond me. What a fab job she did!

She has now returned home, warmly greeted by her family. She is jet-lagged once again but so happy to get home before the winter snows!

We are returning to "normal" here in our flat and noticing that the weather is turning much colder in the last couple of days. The newspapers are warning there could even be some snow this weekend....I wonder if we will escape that; it is normally what happens, shielded as we are by the Pennines and the Welsh hills.

Oh....and I have also stopped procrastinating and recorded my first video on YouTube! I hope there will be many more to come. I am rather intimidated by technical gadgets and haven't quite refined the art of vlogging. You might like to take a peek at my first effort? It's had a good lot of comments and a few subscribers...feels rather nice! :-)

I can only post a link here as I don't know how to post the actual video on here...sorry!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siKJ6sGJERc (the introductory photo frame is none too flattering I'm sorry to say...but it gets better when you watch the video....honest!)

That's all for today, folks!

2008-10-26T14:56:00.003Z

DRAW ME CLOSE TO YOU

The words to this song came to me today and being Sunday
I felt it pretty well fitted ~ expressed where I'm up to
as I know God's loving embrace.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Draw me close to You, Never let me go.
I lay it all down again,
To hear you say that I'm your friend.
You are my desire, no one else will do,
'cause nothing else could take Your place.
To feel the warmth of Your embrace.

Help me find the way, Bring me back to You.
You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed.
You're all I want, Help me know You are near.

~ Kelly Carpenter ~

Enjoying a lovely visit with my dear niece who is visiting us from Canada.
I hope whatever you do this day, you are loved and surrounded
by all that is good.

We have been reminiscing, setting the world to rights (lol),
recovering from the hectic day yesterday when she arrived,
and adjusting to the time change of not only a continent shift
but also the change of time when our clocks went back one hour.

It's been a day of mixed showers and sun and I expect after our
relaxed day we will be ready tomorrow to begin planning our little
excursions...whatever they will be. Let the planning begin!

2008-10-24T22:37:00.002+01:00

BIRTHDAY BOY

Our grandson Matty, taken today

on his 7th Birthday !

I think this has got to be one fantastic piccie...
He sure looks happy
and
you just gotta love that hat! lol

We've had a party tonight, he's had a fun day, concluding
with a party at nana & grandpa's.

We've had games (Pin the tail on the donkey...and the birthday boy even admitted he
peeked and got the nearest to the donkey's tail...lol; "statues" and pass the parcel too).

It's not every day that the party spirit hits so we've made the most of it.

MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY, MATTY

2008-10-24T07:13:00.002+01:00

Many of us seek the answers to life’s questions by looking outside of ourselves and trying to glean advice from the people around us. But as each of us is unique, with our own personal histories, our own sense of right and wrong, and our own way of experiencing the world that defines our realities, looking to others for our answers is only partially helpful. The answers to our personal questions can be most often found by looking within. When you realize that you always have access to the part of you that always knows what you need and is meant to act as your inner compass, you can stop searching outside of yourself. If you can learn to hear, trust, and embrace the wisdom that lives within you, you will be able to confidently navigate your life.

Trusting your inner wisdom may be awkward at first, particularly if you grew up around people who taught you to look to others for answers. We each have exclusive access to our inner knowing. All we have to do is remember how to listen. Remember to be patient as you relearn how to hear, receive, and follow your own guidance. If you are unsure about whether following your inner wisdom will prove reliable, you may want to think of a time when you did trust your own knowing and everything worked out. Recall how the answers came to you, how they felt in your body as you considered them, and what happened when you acted upon this guidance. Now, recall a time when you didn’t trust yourself and the results didn’t work out as you had hoped. Trusting your own guidance can help you avoid going against what you instinctively know is right for you.

When you second guess yourself and go against what you know to be your truth, you can easily go off course because you are no longer following your inner compass. By looking inside yourself for the answers to your life’s questions, you are consulting your best guide. Only you can know the how’s and why’s of your life. The answers that you seek can be found when you start answering your own questions.

(taken from DAILY OM, nurturing Mind, Body and Spirit)

I receive these inspirational messages daily to my inbox. This particular message sums up for me the mess I've been in for a few years now. I am very pleased that I am returning to that perfect place of residence...where my intuition (I call it discernment which is God-given) is to be trusted. I will just say...back in the arms of Father God and not following the dictates of man is where I have returned. It feels right and I am blessed!

If you would like to receive this daily meditation, then follow this link....

http://www.dailyom.com

*****************

2008-10-20T06:49:00.002+01:00

A Blessing

I have been away with our son's church for the weekend. It's been a very good, positive experience for me. As I read in my room I discovered this blessing and thought I'd blog it today.

For partners who love,
For kids who cuddle,
For grannies who listen,
For friends who care
For the stars above,
For food on the table,
For laughter and tears,
And for so much more.
We say 'Thanks'
To You,
Today and every day.

*I believe I discovered this blessing in the Iona Community Worship Book*
(I neglected to write it down!)

I will be writing more about my weekend and the refreshment of spirit and faith
once I have had some time to digest and reflect on it all.
I am blessed...may you know blessing too this day!

2008-10-14T16:36:00.002+01:00

I've made a wonderful discovery today and I wanted to share it here.

Those who read my blog regularly will have known me to mention my late sister, Dorna.

The video mentioned above I would dedicate to her memory and to the
sisterly affection and love which we shared. The words in this song express it all
so well. My regret is that I didn't find this song while she still walked this earth.

There is something beautifully haunting about Antony's voice and the feelings
he arouses in me as he sings many of his songs. If you are moved by the lyrics and
Antony's voice, then I am pleased.

....and can I suggest you visit YouTube to check out some of his other songs too!

Blessings to my readers this day.

IMG_1850.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x480 pixels)

2008-10-12T13:15:00.000+01:00

IMG_1850.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x480 pixels)

I'm just so chuffed. My online friend has given birth to a daughter. Congratulations to Kas and Karol. She's just perfect!

2008-10-04T18:42:00.001+01:00

I have discovered a blog that is pure escapism. I think Linda (the blogger) is feeding my childhood memories of life in British Columbia where wildlife could be found regularly. Linda photographs the visitors to their property (all manner of birds, bears, deer, racoons, squirrels and more) and I love it. Maybe you will too....

http://www.lindaswildlifejournal.blogspot.com

Take a peek...I'm sure you won't be disappointed. Living on a busy main road as we do there just aren't the opportunities of my childhood days to see much wildlife (although we did see a fox one wintry, snowy early morning trotting up the road!)...but I'm easily satisfied when I spend a little while viewing Linda's beautiful photographs. Enjoy!

2008-10-02T17:55:00.000+01:00

Hubby surprised me.

I sent him on an errand to the local thrift shop today to donate
the highchair we have used for Nathaniel when he visits.
It's surplus to requirements and while he was in the charity shop
he bought me this lovely new jug to adorn by expanding collection!

made by Ewenni, Wales
according to the bottom of the jug

I LOVE IT!

2008-10-02T08:05:00.003+01:00

I found myself discovering a new blog today.

http://talesofinglewood.blogspot.com/

I am surprised sometimes when I "happen" upon a blog, an article, a post on
one of the many forums I frequent....whenever.....and there is a sense of "alrightness" as I
read and take in the message contained therein.

This blog did it for me. No explanation to offer....it just happened!

Have a lovely day :)

Just to whet your appetite...here's a quote from the above-mentioned blog...

"You should appreciate the small joys of everyday
and try and make more of them,
life is for savouring the tiny, satisfying-making you happy things
as well as the large occasional joys - Daisy"

2008-10-01T17:01:00.000+01:00

Uncle Dave & Nathaniel

It looks like Nathaniel is getting some 'puter pointers from
Uncle Dave. Great pals :)

2008-10-01T15:48:00.002+01:00

60 years young!

This beautiful bouquet of flowers
was received yesterday
from my lovely friend
Dorothy.

It was a day of surprises!

Our son Dave purchased and prepared
the ingredients for a lovely chicken stir-fry
followed by a cheescake
complete with 60 in numbers and lit up!

I have some huge sunflowers, a thoughtful gift from the above-mentioned son too.
And some lovely cards.
A webcam conversation with our four grandkids....complete with giggles!
(Now that they are living a distance away from us visits are less frequent and as
nana's birthday fell on a school night we'll have to celebrate my birthday on another night.)

It was a lovely day and I dutifully followed the instructions on Dave's card to me....
60 TODAY...put your feet up!
and discovered a new-to-me author Maeve Binchy and her novel
"The Copperwood Tree" (borrowed from the local library and finished in two sittings!!).

Now I'll be entitled to a free bus pass too!
What more could a girl want, eh?

Best of all....I've also got a set of CD's coming from hubby (ordered and coming by post)
of hits of the 60's. I'll be able to bop along while doing the ironing. Such fun!

2008-09-17T13:25:00.001+01:00

I'm sure feeling more chipper these days :) I've been through a time of depression once again and it seems so strange when it's happening that I can find nothing positive or "happy/joyful" to think about or celebrate. I'm doing my best through therapy to track what triggers there are for those "dark" times and especially finding ways to work through them.

Now that I'm feeling near "normal" again I feel ready to resume life! I'm re-registering for the follow-on courses in my Activity for Life classes, s-l-o-w-l-y getting back into a rhythm of homemaking again (that reads correction.....slowly!).

Maybe, just maybe, the brilliant sunshine that's filling my corner of the world today is one good contributing factor to my feeling especially positive today. Thank God for whatever it is that is bringing me around to old self again. I rather like feeling like me again!

2008-09-08T14:19:00.003+01:00

How's this for a little charmer? This our youngest grandson, Nathaniel, posing so cutely for mommy's camera so nana could see him in his lovely sweater.

A friend knit this sweater for Nathaniel when he was a very young baby and as the weather is settling into fall now it was time to dig it out and put it on our little chap.

When I saw this picture I felt as if I could just reach out and pick him up for a loving cuddle...Awww!

He's at home now with mommy as his 3 elder siblings have all gone to school for the full day. I'm wondering if he is going to be missing them much after having them all at home over the summer months.

So mommy and Nathaniel can have some "mommy and Nathaniel time" together. And mommy can get on with her chores at home without 4 little people underfoot. I know she was looking forward to those kind of days after the long, wet summer.

Oh...and Nathaniel is now 21 months old. Time sure flies!

2008-08-15T17:28:00.001+01:00

BLACKBERRIES

Yesterday we picked these blackberries in our "back 40" and I've placed them in our freezer ready for a future blackberry pie.

Our back garden is totally a huge weed patch (we hope to rectify that once we are retired and have the time to devote to developing it for a pleasant, pretty place to relax). So...blackberries grow willy-nilly and in anticipation I have saved them for baking day!

Brings back childhood memories of my mom taking us out during late summer all kitted out in thick shirts, carrying poles (for grabbing branches), sunhats and of course a pail each for collecting the blackberries. Then a mammoth baking and jam-making session would ensue with my mom and an aunt taking over our country kitchen. A lot of the products would find their way to the local church fayre. Believe me they would be hot products for purchase too! Yummy!

2008-08-02T17:37:00.001+01:00

There has been a tragic event in our community.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2008/08/02/teen-dies-after-homophobic-attack-100252-21454861/

It really is such a troubled world when these kinds of attacks rear their ugly head.

Homophobia is a curse....and not the other way around that some would have us believe, that homosexuals should be ostrasized and banished to hell. When will our world wake up to the sanctity of life....and the "live and let live" acceptance and love we need to show towards our fellowman.

RIP Michael...and prayers of comfort are extended to his family and friends in our local community here in Whiston.

2008-08-01T22:08:00.000+01:00

We're so happy!! :) :)

Those who regularly read my blog will know that our daughter has recently moved to a new city. There were problems getting all the 3 eldest grandkids into the same local school of their choice in their new area.

Well....with relief I can now report that Brenda and Bryn appealed the lack of a place for Matty and today received the news that YEP, he's granted a place in September! Whew!

Oh yes, and on another note...I've been to aerobics yesterday and aquasize class today and feel pretty good about that victory too!

We had a family gathering on Thursday evening at hubby's brother's place and I went rather reluctantly (being rather anti-social just now) and I'm also happy to report that I actually found myself feeling quite relaxed and chattering away with the best of 'em. Please God, let this be a sign I'm back on the road up again! Now that would be such great news.

2008-07-28T08:23:00.003+01:00

Just checkin' in!

I've been moping about the place now for the better part of a week and it's really not much fun! I am pushing myself to do even the bare minimum. What is it about depression that sneaks back in and bites you in the backside? It sure isn't a welcome guest in these here parts I can tell you.

I'm back to either bouts of wanting to sleep the day away or spending the nights in my lazyboy chair alternating between fits of sleep and being wide awake. What is all that about? The old enemy of anxiety has returned with a vengeance and if I had somewhere in mind to run to, I'd be off! That's about the size of it folks.

Even my Activity for Life classes are becoming a chore...I've narrowed it down to two classes that I do still enjoy (tai-chi and aquasize). I really don't find the machines to be much fun and yet speaking to others in the classes, most seem to like the machines best! I'm at this very moment arguing with myself whether to even bother going to the class this morning (it's the machines today!).

I'm also at my therapy appointment this afternoon and finding these aren't too agreeable with me either. I wonder if I'll have the guts to tell the therapist that this afternoon? Ugh! Sometimes I think the therapy is more of a hindrance than a help...anybody reading this ever felt like that if they've been in therapy?

The healthy eating has taken a trip up the Swanee too. Guess you can just say things are a bit crap at the moment. Nothing like tuning in to a blog and coming away from it thinking "that lady's got troubles"......hopefully all this will lift soon and I'll be feeling much better!

I have a saying that I can mostly believe "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade"....trouble is, at the moment, the recipe seems to be eluding me. Til next time....

2008-07-18T06:29:00.001+01:00

MOVING PICTURE!

Oh Nana, this moving lark is sure hard on the ol' fella!

This photo was taken last week at Brenda's when Nathanial was just plumb tuckered out from all that packing. One minute he was chattering away to nana and then all went silent and this was the end product! Awwwww!

Poor Nathaniel was shattered...and as the days have gone on (today is MOVING DAY for the Jones' family) things have got a heck of a lot busier.

Now if this darn rain would just cease the day would be a lot easier to face. It's 6.35am here at our home as I write this blog entry and I'll soon be dressed and on my way over to Brenda's to help in whatever way I can. The movers are due at 9.30am and the day will be interspersed with leaving ceremony for Iona (moves up from nursery...and they call it "Graduation") and the two eldest boys finishing school at 2pm today...then school is out for the summer holidays. This will be their last day in Prescot County Primary and they'll move on in September to their new school in Cheadle, Manchester.

So...here's to a good move and assembled beds at the other end so everyone can rest their weary bones after the move.

2008-07-14T06:58:00.001+01:00

HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARY
to our much-loved daughter & hubby

Brenda & Bryn

14th July

from Mom, Dad and Dave xxoo

2008-07-14T06:48:00.003+01:00

Alec & Jacquie

This photo comes courtesy of my good friend Ann who has featured on my blog several times and who recently spent two weeks with us here in the UK. She snapped a rare shot of Alec and I in the living room as she frantically took photos of us all ( to remember us by...awww!).

We do not have many photos together and it was so nice to find this one taken in May of this year....and again, what a fabulous holiday we shared Ann. Great memories! (and thanks to Ann who gave me instructions of how to actually save it from her Facebook photo album too!....even more surprising, I could follow the instructions and successfully publish the photo too!! lol)

2008-07-13T20:30:00.001+01:00

The scenic picture is one of my favourite memories of the visit with Ann in May. We drank in this view from the B&B we stayed in not far from Aberystwyth in Wales. Fabulous drink-in scene I think you'll agree! This photo rather compensates for the miserable rainy Sunday picture I posted in my previous blog entry. Just to prove it can be nice in the UK too!

The second photo is the lady herself! (lol) I had to have a photo for my Activity for Life ID and Bryn was kind enough to do this portrait one for me...so thought I'd share it with my readers.

The facial features are a slimmed-down version that appears on my blog and I just felt like a little brag!

That's all for today folks.

2008-07-13T20:19:00.001+01:00

ALMOST FORGOT TO POST PICCIES OF MY COOKIE BAKE!

As the grandkids didn't seem to enjoy the chocolate chip cookies (think it was the walnuts in the recipe along with the chocolate chips!) I thought I'd at least share a picture with my blog readers.

I saved a few for home consumption and packed the rest up in a container to be placed in the staff kitchen in the grandkids' school. I'm pretty sure the teachers will appreciate them! (lol)

So it's "virtual" choccie chip cookies for my readers today :)

2008-07-13T18:44:00.003+01:00

This was what it looked like last Sunday here in "summery" old northwest England! It was almost flash flood full alert! Thankfully it didn't come to flash floods but it sure was threatening to be another episode like we experienced a few years ago when it rained so hard the drains were literally lifting off the ground and the rainfall was so heavy it washed right into our shop causing some damage. Not this time though...phew! Today though it's a totally different story. It's wonderfully sunny...not hot I hasten to add but nevertheless a very enjoyable day. Been a lovely day too. Made a quick trip to the supermarket and then on to my friend Dorothy's for a nice cup of iced tea and a chinwag. Home again just in time to receive Brenny and family for a visit. The 3 eldest grandchildren stayed with nana while Brenda, Bryn and Nathaniel went to Ikea to scout around for some much needed furniture (a bed for Nathaniel especially) thinking they might find it in the sales...no such luck! They'll go back after their move this week as they've selected what they would like to purchase but may as well wait until after the move this Friday.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Bake at nana's...

I also had a fun time with Joshua and Iona as they "helped" nana make and bake some chocolate chip cookies. They loved licking the beaters and the bowls but when it came to the finished product....they didn't like them !! :(

This was my second attempt at making cookies for the grandkids in the last month. I had a go at peanut butter cookies and they weren't a hit either. My goodness....I ask myself...do my grandkids have any Canadian blood in their veins?? (lol) I wonder if I should try plain sugar cookies?? or maybe...just maybe, forget plying the grandchildren with homemade cookies and succumb to store-bought!

Oh well....it's on to a busy week with Brenda & Bryn's move so I'll help where I can. I'll be back again soon. Happy Sunday readers.

2008-07-09T09:22:00.002+01:00

Not a lot has been happening in our neck of the woods. I've been battling with a bout of depression in the last week but thankfully today I can feel it lifting somewhat...that is a good sign!

I have the most lovely friend (Dorothy) who spared no effort yesterday to prepare me the most lovely lunch in her home. It was all arranged quickly in the morning as she soon realized during our msn chat that I wasn't on top form. Bless her! She provided me with fresh produce from her garden for a tasty salad plate, topped off with salmon and prawns....and the most YUMMY home-grown raspberries for dessert. I felt really blessed...thank you hon.

Then I travelled to our daughter's home to lend a hand with the sorting and packing (an ongoing project as their moving day is fast approaching). I'm relieved they've secured a moving company so the hard graft of shifting all their possessions will be in the hands of professionals. It will be worth the expense. We got quite a lot of sorting done and their current home looks like a box factory with the rooms fast filling up with packed-up belongings.

I had the added pleasure of comforting Nathaniel (youngest grandson) as he was so overtired late on in the afternoon. He was chattering away to me and then went all silent...I looked and his eyes were shut and he was fast asleep. Awww It was one of those awake one minute, asleep the next kind of times. Nana thrives on those kind of moments with the little ones. :)

I have my tai-chi class this afternoon but not much else planned. Looks overcast outside but it could still be a sunny day...we shall see!

That's about it folks! Blessings to you.

2008-07-03T16:58:00.001+01:00

Don't they say the best things in life are worth waiting for....get a load of those hairdo's eh? and what about those hemlines too!

This is me on the left (the bride) and my best friend Ann (my bridesmaid/witness).

We had a few oversights on the day...forgot completely about having music for the service...and...also forgot flowers for my one bridesmaid, Ann.

My stepmom Leah came to the rescue though and made a pretty bouquet picked fresh from her garden! A bit of ribbon added and "Bob's your uncle."

Ann and I have remained friends all these years and it is Ann who I recently shared a great visit with here in the UK when she came to visit us (there are photos elsewhere on my blog of her visit). And thanks to Ann I was able to put these photos up on my blog (I've mentioned elsewhere I have misplaced our small wedding album but she had a few photos in her possession so all was not lost). Thank you Ann....what a friend!

2008-07-03T16:50:00.001+01:00

Well....this seems to be the best I can get at the moment! Why do I have so many silly problems that frustrate me when I attempt to do anything more complicated on the puter than chat to friends on msn?

Anyhow....the first photo is a repeat (I know.....I know.....just laugh with me!!) and the second photo is hubby signing his life away and I'm standing at the side of him making sure he does it right! (lol)

Maybe I'll get third time lucky! I've got one more photo to publish if I can locate it! Give me strength...and keep laughing along with silly ol' me.

2008-07-03T09:47:00.002+01:00

This is a photo taken in our living room on Bowen Island. L to R is my stepmom (Leah), myself and my dad (Jack).

I have more photos sent to me by my friend Ann (she was my matron of honour/witness) and I'll have to work out how to download the other two photos.

I'm such a non-techi person I'm not even sure how I managed to locate this photo and get it to publish!! Is there any hope for me, I ask you? (lol)

Our Wedding Day (hubby's not in this photo...I'm still working on publishing that one)!

2008-07-01T16:08:00.002+01:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY HONEY
37 yrs. married today!

and

Happy Canada Day to all my friends & family in Canada.

If I manage to locate it (!!) I'll post a photo of our wedding day. It was a warm, sunny day, much like it is today and my memories of the day are still fairly fresh in my mind and heart. It was a small affair, I wore a short peach dress with a lace bodice and carried a posy of red and white flowers.

Our witnesses were our good friends Ann & Tom and invited guests numbered a small crowd of about 10 or 12. I do remember my married cousin turning up with his wife and children (on their way to the beach complete with pails and shovels, sun hats and shorts and clanged their way through the service...lol).

My boss, an ordained minister, conducted our ceremony at the childhood church I attended on Bowen Island. Oh and we totally forgot to arrange any music for the ceremony and as there was only a pump organ in the little country church we had to make do without.

My dad and stepmom arranged a small reception at our Bowen Island home with bbq'd salmon (yum, yum) and I remember my stepmom and I made the fruit wedding cake and iced it. We didn't realize you had to coat the cake with marzipan before icing it so the dark colouring from the cake showed through...no mistaking it for a homemade cake. Being in the 70's our cake topper was a garland of flowers with the peace symbol hanging from a circle. Peace was a hot topic then with the Vietnam war in full swing.

Well 37 yrs. down the line, 2 lovely kids and 4 grandkids later, we're now so laid back about all the anniversary celebrations that we almost forgot the exchange of cards! (lol) But we've not completely lost the plot...we did remember to wish each other a happy day and have a little smooch.

We have a very small wedding album of snapshots and I know it is in the house somewhere (one day I will get organized!!) but today, of all days, it seems to have gone AWOL...and it's less than a month since I last was looking at it. If it's found soon....then I'll post a piccie.

So....37 years....here's to 38!

2008-06-29T09:51:00.002+01:00

This morning I've been blessed.

I've had two different video links sent to me that have really been inspirational.

Hope you enjoy them too!

The first link is for songwriter, Robert Sanders, singing his original composition "Be Kind"...says it all really. Worth a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFY1ZjWCVQM

The second link came to me via a woman on a website I belong to. She has the most amazing friend who is very near to death. He has authored a book and has such a rich approach to gratefulness that you will find in anyone.

Chris' book is called THE GRATEFUL ROAD and the link for his video can be found at
http://www.youtube.com/user/gratefulroad

Some days there really is a blessing. Hope you feel blessed by viewing the links too.

2008-06-27T07:46:00.001+01:00

Nana's brag!

Last week we had the family around for a hot dog tea and I caught our two youngest grandkids as they played with the magnets on nana's fridge.

Aren't they cute?

Iona-Mae (4 yrs.) & Nathaniel (almost 18 months)

YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM

2008-06-27T07:18:00.003+01:00

It's Festival time here in Prescot where we live. One of the evening events has been a showing of the film "Sound of Music" where people attending were invited to wear fancy dress and sing along with lyrics posted at the bottom of the screen.

It was a great success as evidenced by the photos accompanying this post. There were a few minor hiccups (including a power cut) but this was soon resolved by renting a gas generator thankfully.

If you'd like to take a peek and see what has been scheduled for the Festival, check out the link I've posted. If you follow the links provided on that page you'll be able to read about other projects/events past and present too.

www.artsinprescot.org.uk

I thought for fun I'd publish a couple of photos of our son (the bearded nun...lol) and others who joined in for the evening. Dave (our son) is responsible for the website and shares with the Director (and committee members) the admin for this annual event. It's a lot of work and they thrive on it.

Well....that's all folks, for now. Enjoy :)

2008-06-24T20:05:00.000+01:00

Anybody know a good cure for sciatica? Yuk! I am keeping up with my Activity for Life and I'm enjoying it, despite the bad back. I am a little mystified with all the machines and the instructor was really put to the test keeping a straight face when I was wheeling backwards on one of the machines (and I didn't know either....just kept telling her it was sure hard peddling!...lol). It's been easier since I've been peddling forward!

So I've been to aquasize and the various machines have been used, been to some gentle aerobics in the gym and tomorrow I get to try tai-chi. I'm very curious about that so I'll see if I'm balanced and co-ordinated enough for that.

Have you ever noticed in a class situation (where there is a mirror for observing yours and others' movements) at how inept men are with co-ordination. Really was quite entertaining. Many of the exercises involved foot/leg moves and arms all at the same time....I'll just say it was a hoot to see in the mirror a gaggle of struggling, unco-ordinated men oblivious to it all! On the other hand I mustn't get too cocky about it....bet they were thinking the same about me on those darn machines! (lol)

I'm struggling with the healthy eating still....someone send me some healthy eating vibes.....quick!

Our daughter and her family are preparing a house move nearer to her hubby's work so it's full steam ahead packing up "tons" of toys and other household stuff. With the family now at 4 children it is so necessary to have a 4 bedroom house...so they're Manchester bound in about 3 weeks' time, if all goes according to their schedule.

I did make one revealing discovery tonight. We decided on takeaway tonight and hubby asked for KFC. We used to eat it quite a lot but with my healthy eating plan we've been avoiding that kind of fatty food. Anyhow I got some tonight and I have to say.....I didn't enjoy it! So I guess something has stuck with me through my change of diet. (smiles broadly)

Onwards and upwards....

2008-06-19T13:13:00.002+01:00

Well....here's an interesting little test....courtesy of another blogger-friend's site. I got a score of 58...so just average (no surprises there then!).....

http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/index.php

How do you fare as a 30's wife then???

Enjoy !

2008-06-15T13:28:00.003+01:00

And finally.....I am on a bit of a roll today it seems! (lol)

You may remember I posted a couple of weeks ago about my first Paypal purchase and it has now made its way across the big wide Atlantic ocean, all packaged up very prettily too. Andrea enclosed a lovely lavender bag with her package...a happy surprise! I love lavender.

It now has a special place in my jug display on our dining room wall. I think it looks quite at home there....hope you agree?

I'd certainly recommend Andrea and her website for anyone who enjoys vintage and collectables. www.fadedplains.com

2008-06-15T13:20:00.001+01:00

I thought a bit of "prettiness" would look just perfect today.

I took the photos of the flowers in our living room recently. I bought these roses and lillies at our local supermarket and they made a very handsome display. Couldn't resist capturing their image as a reminder of the wonder and beauty that is all around.

The bottom photo is a sunset I took from our kitchen window, just as it was setting towards Liverpool. It was a beautiful sight to behold as the sky continued to explode in pretty shades of oranges and golds...of course fading into darkness a bit at a time.

Happy Sunday!
This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

2008-06-15T13:13:00.000+01:00

This is what I found in my kitchen cupboard when the grandchildren had recently been for a visit. It did make me laugh. They'd been playing with the cars and other toys and I guess for some reason only a child would understand they (well I reckon it would be the youngest grandson, Nathaniel) thought the mixing bowls would make a safe repository.

Kids...don't they make life fun!

2008-06-11T15:48:00.000+01:00

This photo was taken in my daughter's front garden about a month ago. I am rather fond of it and thought I'd publish it here on my blog...just so it's an update on the photos of yesterday (of my graduation 42 years ago). My goodness time certainly does move on.

We are having some lovely days recently. The weather remains pleasantly warm, although I sense we may be getting some rain in the not too distant days. There are a few clouds coming in this afternoon and I am sure I felt a very few raindrops as I came back to my car this morning at the local supermarket...none falling at the moment though!

I went this morning for an introduction session for "Activity for Life" and heard about the various sessions offered to us and also had opportunity to hear and talk to others who were just finishing the 12-week session. They were all presented with certificates and spoke glowingly of their various improvements and accomplishments with health and mobility. I am very much looking forward to my sessions which will begin in just over a week's time. I can attend 3 or more sessions weekly and it's all free...provided by the NHS (the NHS does take some stick for what they fall down on, but I can't fault them for this particular offering, nor for the Weight Management classes which I've been attending).

Well, guess that wraps it up for today.

2008-06-10T19:42:00.004+01:00

I realized this morning as I looked up the date, there is special significance to the date of 10th June! It came as quite a shock.....the photos (above) were taken 41 years ago on this date and are a stark reminder....time marches on!

On 10th June 1966 I graduated from High School (Templeton Secondary School in Vancouver, B.C., Canada). I wonder where all those class members are now? I've moved across an ocean and have contact only with two class members now.

So, for old time's sake....here's to those high school memories all those years ago.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Oops! I think I need to go back to school.....more of the 3 R's!!! My maths is suffering and I've been told by a very reliable source (thanks Ann...lol) that it is 42 years since we graduated. The old brain just ain't what it used to be!

2008-06-05T17:04:00.000+01:00

I've ordered it!!!....the jug I pictured a couple of days ago. I love it...hubby says it's hideous! Oh well..it will look very pretty in my small jug collection and I'm chuffed to bits. It is coming from the USA so it will be awhile until I receive it....don't they say...good things are worth waiting for? (lol)

2008-06-02T07:18:00.003+01:00

I've had some fun last night and early this morning following links to various vintage/collector's web sites. This morning I came across a most delightful object that I can imagine being a part of my "jug" collection. What do you think? Should I make enquiries about international shipping or just keep the page bookmarked and gloat? (lol)

Here's the link to the jug.....it's so very pretty!

http://www.fadedplains.com/category_12/The-French-Cupboard.htm

2008-05-30T10:03:00.002+01:00

The Buffet Table
&
The Fairy Muffin Cakes

Well, it was quite a busy day yesterday....and today I am resting from my labours! The evening went well and we all enjoyed the commotion and visits....despite seating being just a tad cramped in our little flat. We survived by sharing the guests between the lounge and dining room so it all worked out just fine!

This was a most wonderful outcome for me after so many years of wondering if I'd ever again feel well enough to cater to a large-ish gathering. I am so very pleased that there were no anxious moments in executing the task...in fact I found it all quite enjoyable, if a little tiring. I am chuffed to bits to know I've got "me" back again!

Not bragging at all you understand! (hehe)

It was also great that our friends Den & Sha could at last meet Brenda's hubby Bryn and be introduced to the 17 month old son they've also had. They're now a family of Brenda, Bryn, Josh, Matty, Iona-Mae and Nathaniel. They are a lively, lovely bunch....again, not bragging at all (blush)....just fabulous grandkids of course.

So the weekend is almost upon us....I've got some more potato salad and coleslaw to make for a family friend who also enjoy my homecooking and want some goodies for the birthday party for their little man "Luke."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKE!

2008-05-27T16:55:00.003+01:00

I've finally been able to get a couple of photos of our new bathroom refit. It doesn't show it off to best advantage but take my word for it....it's luxurious, convenient and very easy to keep orderly and cleaned.

I'm loving it! Enjoy the piccies (if I manage to get some piccies of the old bathroom from the fitters I'll post them too....not sure when though!).

2008-05-27T07:29:00.002+01:00

I mustn't leave out my lovely grandsons....so have found a couple of photos taken in the last week. They are lovely boys...Josh is 7 and Matty is 6. Nathaniel brings up the rear...and he is almost 17months and a very proud "new walker"...with his first pair of shoes!
Josh is on the left; Matty
on the right...................................and here's little brother Nathaniel!

Whatever did nana's do before grandkids I ask myself? Having the gift of 4 lovely grandkids is truly a blessing...and don't they grow up so very fast!

2008-05-25T07:33:00.000+01:00

In order of appearance.....my friend Ann on the same beach! (as mentioned in my previous blog post), The second photo is Carol and I (we shared the early days of formation and leadership in the establishment of a local women's ministry) taken in the garden behind her lovely home in Borth, North Wales (nr. Aberystwyth). She moved there about 4 yrs. ago and we made a surprise visit to her on our travels...it was fun!

And the third photo is my gorgeous princess of a grandaughter, Iona-Mae. She is a delight and clearly enjoys the photo opportunity. She is a proper little girl...loving all things pink/purple and frilly. Her favourite shoes are her Lelly-Kelly's resplendent in sparkly trims! We laughed at her the other day. She had nana's camera and was taking some photos of her brothers in our home. We overheard her to say to her brother....."Matty....stop fooling around (Matty is the clown of the family....)....oh I am so proud of you." We all cracked up with stifled laughter!

I will now have to find some photos of our grandsons to complete the family brag!

2008-05-25T07:20:00.001+01:00

This is me on the beach in Wales. I have a second photo of Ann but will need to publish that in the next post! Oh how I would enjoy not being so computer-challenged! (lol)

I have heard back from Ann to say she has returned home safely and is travel and time worn but had a happy reception from her hubby. It's always good to return home after such a fantastic holiday.

It seems an eon ago already that we visited so many wonderful places and shared so many laughs. Isn't life so strange...it was only yesterday that I bid her farewell at the airport and I've only had one night's sleep since....and it feels such a long time since I've seen Ann!

I had a visit from the grandchildren yesterday and my grandaughter asked where my friend was...awww! She spent a lot of happy minutes having colouring competitions with Ann...they had a whole routine all worked out. It was a "Ready, steady, go" kind of competition. Iona, being four is still into "fast" scribbling colouring and Ann is the "perfection" type of colourer (just like me!) so of course Iona always "won."

I have so enjoyed the last two weeks and now my home beckons for retrieval from all the dust bunnies! I have still to finish putting away all our belongings in our newly refurbished bathroom. It was completed just the day before Ann arrived so I still have some work to do on that room. And there are redecorating projects galore! I'm going to be kept out of mischief for some time.

And the garden....well, that's just an awful jumble of huge weeds (how can they grow so fast in just two weeks!!!). That needs total revamp....and then there's the garage that needs sorting.....I think you get the picture! (lol)

It's a beautiful day....lovely sunshine and a gentle breeze. I feel so good! Long may it last.

2008-05-24T14:46:00.003+01:00

I've been one busy lady! I've had a wonderful two-week visit from a high-school best friend, Ann. She came from Vancouver, B.C. for a visit and has this morning returned to B.C. We sure had a fabulous (awesome even!) 2 weeks.

It was through Ann that I met my husband...I was bridesmaid at her first wedding and my hubby (then unknown to me, but friend and workmate of the groom) was best man...and as they say, the rest is history. Hubby and I have been married 37 years (38 on 1st July) and Ann has now gone on to meet and marry her second lovely hubby Jim.

We visited Cardiff, Aberystwyth, Llandudno, Llangollen and York (and many points inbetween). I think we just about managed to draw breath....we laughed, reminisced, visited with her cousin and a good friend as well as a few outings with meals out etc. It's been so much fun.

I will be resting up now as we covered a lot of miles by English standards and I am weary but content. Housework (dusting, vacuuming and washing all await).

I feel so blessed to have such a friendship and I know Ann has returned home with may happy memories to a hubby and a family dog who are missing her very much.

Jacquie x

2008-05-08T05:28:00.002+01:00

I was replying to a forum post on Brocante this morning about my thoughts on my beloved sister's death in January '07. I realized I hadn't blogged much about that time in my life and it was so therapeutic to write that forum post. I want to share it here on my blog...call it part of my healing process and indulge me. There is also a link to a tribute website which our son started at the time of her passing which you might like to take a look at. It could use an update...but that will be for future months. The addy is http://doreentribute.org/

My post read....

When my sister died in Canada in January '07 she was cremated immediately and her ashes were collected by her married daughter (placed in an urn on her dining room table...."because it felt like mom hadn't left yet"...I think you'll understand those kinds of feelings).

With me being in the UK I had been rather detached physically from her final 2 months of illness in hospital until her death and then at the point of death I had just had those kind of phone calls or webcam chats with her daughter where sobbing happens and you just indulge one another...there is just such a depth of sadness. Being an ocean away (my sister lived in Canada...our birthplace, and me in the UK) it all seemed so real and yet so far away.

Her Memorial Service was held 3 months after her death (due to poor weather conditions and my inability to get away for the service until then) and we planned it, printed up service sheets etc. over the phone and fine-tuned it all when I arrived at my niece's home. It was a kind of surreal time between death and the Memorial Service. Yes, my sister had died and I was distraught. Yes I had the trip back to Canada (accompanied by my daughter, her hubby and our 4 grandkids..her first return journey to Canada since leaving for the UK at the tender age of 7 yrs.), the opportunity to connect with some family and friends and especially get all those hugs of comfort and understanding.

The most beautiful and for me concluding act following her death, was upon my return to Canada. We returned with niece & family and daughter & family to the small island where we had grown up and carried out my sister's wishes of scattering her ashes on the beach. It was a most holy event. I felt such a connection to her...it was sad and healing all at once. For me, that was my final good-bye, my opportunity to "release" her. It felt so right and as a proper end to her life...and what she had asked to be done.

We travelled on after 3 days of family visits on the island to the home of my niece, went through a lot of my sister's belongings which my niece had stored in her basement, shared all the good and not-so-good memories of our childhood and made that important link between the generations. Now, more than ever, I feel such a connection with my niece. We clung to one another like flotsom in a ship wreck...and still do.

I miss my sister a lot...she was 18 yrs. my senior...and it was awful the last 3 years of her life to watch her decline from Parkinson's. I wasn't even able to understand our phone calls the last 3 months of her life, she couldn't write because it was just too scrawly...so we cried and laughed on the phone calls. I got to "speak" to her on my niece's cell phone barely an hour before she passed away...I read her "our" psalm 139 which holds so much tender meaning for us both and I released her into God's loving arms. Another "right" moment.

It's good to share. If you are travelling through a time of grief I hope it helps to know many others survived that journey too. "God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

2008-05-04T07:16:00.000+01:00

I am floundering with this blog. I am finding so many beautiful blogs with pages so wonderfully presented, feminine/pretty/inspiring/lots of links etc. I'm trying to sort all that out on this blog so I hope you will stick around and be ever so patient with me. One day I will conquer all things to do with computer/internet/blogging etc.....hope you last the course!

Here's to a refreshing change in nana's news!

PICTURES, POTS AND PENS: Anyone Missing Me?

2008-05-04T06:31:00.000+01:00

<CENTER>PICTURES, POTS AND PENS</CENTER>: <strong>Anyone Missing Me?</strong>

2008-05-03T07:12:00.004+01:00

The weekend has arrived! This was my first morning of not being in our shop and it has already made such a wretched morning routine into a blissful one.

I slept in my chair last night for a couple of hours and then toddled off to bed where I slept another 4 hours! I went to bed last night knowing I would not be required in the shop in the mornings and I'm certain that contributed to my restful sleep. I'd forgotten what it was to sleep in our bed with the comfort of our down duvet and no alarm clock ringing in my ear willing me to get up and at it for another day! I was awake early as if I was getting ready for work....but only needed to get myself ready to face the day. I will not miss those anxious and fretful hours of work/recovery. I do have issues with feeling guilty about the extra workload for hubby and am practicising letting that go!

It isn't exactly a cloudless sky....not sure what the day holds weatherwise. Lots of activity here with the bathroom refit and my decluttering and reorganizing. I love spending time in our home and making it a pleasant, clean and welcoming place.

2008-05-02T21:54:00.002+01:00

I've made the decision today to discontinue working in our shop completely for the foreseeable future. The mornings in the shop, although only an hour or so in duration, have unsettled me not only at the time I am in the shop/stockroom but for a couple of hours afterwards. Thankfully hubby is supportive and has been gently understanding. It does increase his workload and he will miss his Saturday return to bed for a well-deserved rest. I do worry about the inevitable stress and longer hours of work for him....and pray for strength of mind and body for him.

I have a myriad of medical appointments in the next week or so and there will be evaluation of my mental health and appropriate treatments set in place. I can't praise the NHS and my family GP enough for their response to my health issues. It is a comfort.

Our bathroom has been gutted today and the workmen will return tomorrow to begin the plumbing work and setting the new suite in place. They did estimate the work would take 5 days so we will have a bit more disruption and I anticipate the enjoyment of a luxurious, relaxing soak in our new tub (I've already bought the lavendar essential oil!)

This is a Bank Holiday weekend and the workmen will work throughout to keep the refit on schedule. If you are celebrating the Bank Holiday may it be an enjoyable and restful one.

2008-04-27T11:06:00.002+01:00

I am thirsting for a fresh understanding of what it is to worship. I am on an important journey, in the midst of lots of emotional and spiritual baggage when what I thought would turn out to be a complete absence of faith is actually evolving into a most precious faith.

I am rediscovering the simple faith I once held as a child and an uncomplicated spiritual adult...the time before spiritual abuse and involvement in a religious cult all but destroyed my life and my sanity. I am in recovery mode and held gently in the arms of a loving God.

This link ( http://www.taize.fr/en_article12.html ) to the Taize community expresses better than I can put into words what worship means to me....I thirst for a fresh understanding of what it is to worship....and I believe the answer lies in the article link I've posted.

As this is the day the Lord has made...I will rejoice and be glad in it. Blessings to any readers who may stop by to read. May the heart of God embrace you this day.

2008-04-26T05:39:00.003+01:00

Yesterday (Friday) was one of the very worst days in my recovery. I spent a large part of the day in tears (cue: sobs), aggression (to the point I had to get out of the house or felt I'd begin smashing things about...maybe even people!...it was very scary), shakes that meant I was dropping things and losing my footing...and of course the lack of sleep continues. I felt very fragile.

I decided to head out and over to our daughter's (B's) house where I was pretty certain there would be lots of hugs and cuddles waiting for nana. And there was! I think children have a special awareness/sense of when someone needs tenderness. First my grandaughter (4 yr. old Iona) came to the door all dressed up in her "princess" outfit and had a grin from ear to ear when she realized who was coming to visit....and then clung to me and hugged and kissed. It was soooo good. And close on her heels was little Nathaniel (15 months) who tugged at my pant legs until I picked him up (cue: head wedged on nana's left shoulder and snuggled in for lots of cuddles straight away).

Brenda went to the school to pick up the two eldest grandsons (Josh 7yrs. & Matty 6 yrs.) and they came charging into the house and were full of hugs too. What a gift my grandchildren are to me every day...and especially on a not-so-good Friday for their nana. I am blessed.

I also got rid of my aggression by helping Brenda to declutter her kitchen (inbetween hugs of course)...and I returned home in time to prepare us a nice dinner.

I was even nasty to hubby on my return home and ended up having to apologize through my tears. I love than man of mine....I'm not too sure sometimes about liking him though. It was, you guessed it, one of those times! He has a habit of calling me "mother" and occasionally it just gets to me...yep, yesterday it did, BIG TIME. I retorted with his motherly greeting to me when he was enquiring when dinner would be ready that..."I'm not your bl**dy mother....I'm your wife"!!! He was stunned, I was stunned! Did I really say that???? Yet it's something I've been bottling up for years and I am having great issues at the moment with feeling an equal with hubby....self-esteem issues big time, I guess. And hearing myself addressed as "Mother" while preparing dinner on an already stressed day....well I blew my stack! The making up was nice though! I know hubby is finding all of this as bewildering and as fraught as I am....and add into that the mix of retirement, selling up our business etc......well I think it's inevitable we'll both be stressed.

So, today is another day. I am already jittery as I prepare to go downstairs to our shop for a bit of work. I have determined my difficulties in being in our shop are definitely related to the robbery....my panic/anxiety/tears greatly increase once I begin to serve customers and deal with the till. So.....no easy solutions.

All will be well. All manner of things will be well....I have to believe it will be so.

2008-04-24T22:11:00.003+01:00

Hubby is stressed too! It seems the extra workload is really getting to my poor hubby. I've been on such a roller coaster ride today! We had a lovely few hours out in the sunshine today visiting a neighbouring market town (bought some books in charity shops) and then enjoyed our lunch out in a favourite restaurant.

We got back to the shop and there was no time for hubby to grab a few winks....he had to go down into the shop and put in another 3-hour shift. Cue: feeling so guilty for my inabiity to function in our shop and adding all the extra pressure to his days. :(

Even getting our shop together and sorted and on the market seems too much stress for him and I feel unable to continue (discovered today I will qualify for incapacity benefit during my illness until and if I can return to the shop floor). Sounds like stalemate to me and it is scary.

You could say....I've had enough, I'm tired. What a roller coaster ride this is developing into. I'm 60 this September and hubby is 65 in August....time we closed up shop! God, please make a way where there seems no way (yep, that's a prayer request, please!).

2008-04-24T10:22:00.003+01:00

Just have to share this news.....

I've been in touch with the "Activity for Life" programme run in our local Leisure Centre and organized/funded by the NHS. I was referred to that programme last autumn but when my name came up on the list I had to decline due to work commitments and lack of time (I had to commit to 3 session/weekly for 4 months...and I was having to do holiday staff cover through the summer months...so committing was not feasible).

Now I am unable to work in our shop due to my health and have staff cover....so I was back in touch with them this morning and I am going for an induction session on 7th May and it looks likely I will be able to join classes beginning in June.

It is something positive to look forward to....and I can't speak highly enough of the NHS programmes which have helped me to understand my eating problems (through the Weight Managment 10-week programme) my depression (through my GP, therapist etc.) and now the Activity for Life. It was so good to not feel a door slammed in my face about these resources and help. Being self-employed means we don't qualify for much else....but the NHS has come through on health issues....much to my relief.

2008-04-24T07:47:00.003+01:00

Today I am grateful for....

* the understanding of my family, my GP, our employees/customers while I am unable to carry out my work responsibilities and I am unable to be depended upon (now I just need the grace to accept that's the way things are for now....)

* the internet friends I've made along the way and the emails, msn chats, jokes and even surprise parcels that appear from time to time

* the tenderness of a loving God and my simplified faith that allows me to drink of his mercy and love

* the discovery of how comforting a cup of earl grey tea can be when the moment seems fraught with anxiety and restlessness and tears

* my adorable grandchildren who are the joy of my life and full of amusement and even some mischievous moments

On difficult days (as the last few have been for me) I find I am prone to think on all that is hurting, complicating, negative, confusing, tearful, emotional draining.....and this blog entry today is my reminder to myself that I am very fortunate indeed for the medical care, friendships and all that is inputing my life right now to help my recovery from Seroxat (anti-depressant) withdrawal and the post-traumatic stress from our robbery. I believe I am held close to God and he knows the end from the beginning....I am blessed.

2008-04-21T15:37:00.002+01:00

New prescription glasses are on order! I've been to Specsavers this morning and taken in my newest prescription form....next week I shall be the proud momma of two new pairs of glasses. My only disappointment was the recommendation that I get as large a lens as possible to accommodate the verifocals....and the really trendier/bolder frames all are just a tad too small to take the verifocal lens. I ended up with two nice frames and should be summonsed to pick the finished product up in about a week.

I also bought myself a pretty necklace today. I will do my best to post some photos one day very soon. I am liking the new look Jacquie! And the comments about my hair colouring have been all so very positive :) .

I'll be off to my weekly weigh-in very soon and then it'll be get home and start the dinner.

GOOD NEWS ...... Hubby hired a new part-timer this morning...she does her first shift in our shop tomorrow morning. I will continue to go down and help out for a very brief spell each day (I seem to manage just shy of an hour before my w/d symptoms get the better of me and I depart for my home space). It can take me an hour or more to get myself calmed down after the morning's short shift. Things will look better soon...I'm believing for it.

2008-04-20T21:56:00.003+01:00

This withdrawal thing just doesn't get any easier....it's been a rough day!

In an attempt to give me something nice to smile about I've had a go (with daughter Brenda's help....thank you honey...) at dying my hair.

I love it! We chose the colour well...very close to my hair colouring of my ermmm "earlier" years! It isn't a permanent dye so it will wash out after 6-8 washings according to the directions on the packet. It's taken me 7 years to actually bit the bullet and do this!!!

When Brenda was pregnant with her first child (Joshua) I bought my first hair dye....it went out of date before I could work up the courage to actually apply it!! Reckoning those years up (Josh was 7 last December)....I can't be accused of rushing the decision! Call me chicken....I can take it!

Even hubby remarked tonight....."I like it!"....coming from hubby (a man of few words, to put it all into perspective) is quite a compliment. I'll take it....only reinforces the fact that this lady is emerging.

I'm doing all I can on the inward and outward of this body I occupy to assist my life's journey...now if I could just see some great withdrawal results from this crap called Seroxat, I would be one happy lady.

I've decided to make another appointment with my GP and discuss the situation with her again and I am adopting a course of Omega 3, Vitamin C and Zinc/Magnesium tablets daily as well as the liquid version of my anti-depressant, Seroxat. I am hoping the GP will also work with me as I use the help of a friend who is a homeopathic practitioner. I will get well.....I will get well....I will get well!

And tonight my heart goes out to S, my online friend from Simple Abundance who has had to bid a sad farewell to her much loved kitty Emily. She is sad this night at the loss of her faithful companion and friend of 16 years. RIP Emily.

2008-04-20T08:56:00.003+01:00

Shakes continue and I'm learning to listen to my body's needs. Sleep was again elusive and I managed just under 4 hours. Shop staff to replace me will hopefully get sorted this coming week and that should ease the pressure for us all.

Our son, Dave, has been a star in the shop which has been such a help to us. A friend commented to me it was in God's plan for me that Dave should be living with us still....as this day of needing help was coming....makes me feel really loved by my God. :)

I made a batch of sausage rolls for hubby and Dave last night. Tried one for myself and my taste buds have really changed....it was much too greasy for my liking....so I won't be scoffing those which is a very welcome change to my eating habits!

Fruit scones are on the homebaking list too so I'll be making some of those today. Hubby really likes scones and my last attempt was excellent according to hubby. He enjoys a buttered scone each morning while he writes up the morning papers in the shop and my new-found confidence in home baking is a most welcome addition to my long list of talents! (wink!...lol)

I've had another learning curve regarding withdrawal from my anti-depressant....knowledge is a good thing! I will continue the withdrawal on the liquid form of the Seroxat and listen to my body, mind and spirit for clues. Homeopathy may be a route I will take...I'll be seeing my GP about that, hopefully this week. I am feeling positive again after a couple of days of "blips".....

Had some great news this week too....my friend from the Leprosy Mission in Nigeria is returning to the UK this autumn where her doctor-husband will study for a 3 year degree course at Leeds University. We will sure enjoy being this close again..Jannine was a prayer partner with me in our days at Prescot Methodist Church and we've remained fast friends ever since.

Happy Sunday all!

2008-04-18T08:49:00.003+01:00

Nana was babysitting last night! Our daughter, hubby and their youngest son went out for a reunion meal with some friends last evening so nana was babysitter at their home. :)

Despite having the day from hell with my withdrawal from Seroxat (had a bit of a pity party with my w/d symptoms yesterday if I'm honest!)....I made a lovely dinner at home for us (poached salmon fillets, boiled new potatoes, turnip/carrot mashed) and although I was feeling quite teary and overwhelmed, made the journey to look after the grandkids. It helped because I soon got distracted from my crummy feelings/symptoms of w/d and was reading bedtime stories and giving out special "nana" cuddles.

Iona (4 yr. old grandaughter) came down with chickenpox yesterday so nursery is on hold just now. She hasn't many spots but she is out of sorts with her little world. She needed nana cuddles last night and enjoyed a bedtime story all snuggled down in her pretty "princess" bed...joined by her 6 yr. old brother, Matty.

Matty went to his bed after storytime (Dora and the magic princess) only to awake awhile later with screams and flailing about in his bed. I think he is experiencing growing pains in his legs (we went through this with our son at about Matty's same age and the symptoms/behaviour are very similar). This morning he has no recollection of the episode.....I think he needed some special nana cuddles too!

Josh (7 yr. old grandson) was into plea-bargaining last night trying to convince nana that he was a big boy (yes, Josh, nana knows you are BIG now...lol) and he says...."Sometimes I stay up later until it's almost dark." As if nana was going to fall for that one! (lol) He went up to bed happy and there wasn't another peep out of him.

Nana watched tv and napped until mommy and daddy returned home....tired but happy after their night out (a rare treat for them!).

Roll on Friday.....oh that's today. Family are here for spagbol (vegetarian style) tonight so nana will be cooking up a storm in the kitchen very soon.

2008-04-16T04:14:00.002+01:00

Saw my GP after discovering a website devoted to those who are or have been taking, Seroxat. It was an eye-opener to find people posting of their problems with coming off this particular a/d. I do no feel alone any longer...and have found a very supportive and understanding group of people.

So far I have had no success in reducing my tablets beyond he 10mg amount (I have taken as high as 40mg/daily but that was earlier, much earlier, in my 6 year depression). Finding the website gave me some important information. It is recommended that dosage of this a/d be decreased extremely slowly and the Seroxat be prescribed in liquid form (I've had tablets up til now).

I am now taking 5ml of liquid Seroxat daily (as of yesterday) and will take it a ever so slowly. I am sleeping about 3-4 hours most nights and awaken "wired for sound" but once I hit the shop floor I am a wreck within an hour. So my working days are short and that will likely not change...we're in the process of advertising for two additional part-timers to fill some of my hours (and the remainder of my hours will need to be filled by poor hubby).

I am continuing to lose weight which is a really fantastic achievement for me...after years of dependence on food for comfort and getting up to such an excessive weight. I am now down in excess of 6 stone....plenty more to lose and that is in the last 3 years or so. Just over 3 stone has been lost since mid-November when I was referred to the local health authority's "Weight Management" 10-week course. (for those who don't know.....One stone is equal to 14 lbs.....so multiply 14 lbs. x 6 and that's my weight loss to date). I know....I'll take a bow! (I hope I can post a couple of photos one day soon to impress you all with my svelte (well I exaggerate!...lol) self. So keep tuned!

I will continue to respond to the changes in my mind, body and spirit and treat myself with a lot of TLC....the family and friends closest to us are ensuring I do that too.

So.....on we go!

2008-04-16T03:40:00.002+01:00

I've been amiss in keeping my blog up-to-date. I guess you could say I'm not operating at full-tilt just now! (and friends can wipe that smile off their faces....as if this was old news! lol)

I've been on anti-depressants for 6 years since my breakdown/depression hit with a vengeance on leaving the church cult. I needed help and was prescribed these tiny tablets (Seroxat....I know I shouldn't swear!). I never realized there would be such a lingering fog that would envelop my days, nor the awful side-effects of withdrawal from this "wonder" drug.

Ok, at the time it was prescribed I was a mess....I needed medical intervention and thankfully I was blessed with a fabulous GP who actually listens and consults together with me....we're pulling in the same direction which has made recovery a much more trusted result. I know all of that. This is my third attempt (don't they say...3rd time lucky) at decreasing my dosage of this a/d. It's no picnic! Cue....shakes, headaches, insomnia, mood swings, restlessness, fear of social situations, inner "jitters",, explosive and unreasonable anger, aggressiveness, impatience, critical temperament....the list just goes on! I've discovered my symptoms are not uncommon and decreasing my a/d at the lower end of the daily dosage (getting below the magical 10mg/daily) is the most difficult. Some patients give up and remain on them forever... not an option for me...I do now enjoy a clear head after living in a fog for the last 6 yrs.) and some suffer the withdrawal side-effects and do their best to get on with life...many taking minute reductions in dosage in little 6-8 week increments...and even after a few years find themselves unable to wean off this blasted drug! So...it's going to be a long and winding road....oops, I feel a song coming on! (lol)

So...at the expense of boring my one or two readers of this blog....I feel to chart my withdrawal from a/d here on my blog would be therapeutic. Even if only I end up reading the entries....it will aid my recovery and give me a written record of my daily progress.

I've also now got the symptoms of PTSD as a result of our shop robbery a month ago We are in the process of hiring two part-time additional employees (that will bring us up to 5 part-timers) to do my morning and weekend hours. Yep, I'm that unable to cope. Isn't stress the most crazy circumstance...and post-traumatic stress seems to be haunting me at this time. I coped very well following the event but then one month later I start with all of these PTSD symptoms and now cannot work on my own in our shop. Thankfully God gave us a wonderful son who is filling the gap temporarily but we need permanent help (as well as for holiday periods which loom in the summer months for our other staff). Oh to be a self-employed newsagent. Roll on retirement...but that's a topic for another day. (whew, I hear you mutter!...lol)

So....stick with me on this if you can. I know I am loved and there is concern for my well-being. I am thankful, ever so thankful. for medical care, loving husband and family and a God who by His spirit, comforts. lifts up and strengthens me day by day.

I'll write a separate blog entry about my daily symptoms of withdrawal. Oh, and I'll do my best to be briefer from here on in.

2008-04-09T16:33:00.002+01:00

Things just don't get any better! I'm hanging in there but not able to work more than about an hour a day.

I've been fine when I'm upstairs in our flat or out and about...but put me on the first step going down to our shop and the panic, tears, jitters begin until I am in such a state that I can no longer function in the shop and have to return upstairs.

I went out today for a bit of clothes browsing and a few groceries...success on both counts! Hit a sale so got a pair of trousers, a blouse and a bra...the last item was so desperately needed due to my weight loss...and it was a nice surprise to buy clothing a couple of sizes less than previously too (and on sale!).

Maybe the next blog post will sound a bit brighter. Sure hope so!

2008-04-07T09:04:00.002+01:00

I've been awake since 3.30am so I'm operating on 4 hours sleep. I've been in our shop to work this morning and have had to relinquish my responsibilities there and come upstairs. Thankfully our son is back from his London holiday and my hubby was able to get him up to work on my behalf.

This withdrawal from a/d is tougher than I was prepared for! I've been blessed in one way this morning as I watched a video link from a friend's church...so the morning hasn't been completely washed away...and it's only 9.07am.

I'll be so relieved when these symptoms are a thing of the past. Sorry for another moan!

2008-04-06T17:59:00.002+01:00

I got just a tad upset today! Let me explain....

I've been treated for depression since a breakdown 6 years ago, with an anti-depressant. Fine so far? Well, now that I am so much improved I've been given the all clear to come off the a/d a little at a time. I've been doing this, with several aborted attempts earlier in my depression, for about 18 months. I am on the homestretch now having decreased the dosage from 40mg daily to the current dosage of 10mg on alternate days. With me so far?...

I've been experiencing various side effects throughout taking this a/d and particularly while withdrawing from this last dosage. Last night I was feeling a tad desperate to figure out what was actually going on in my body and I did a google search of my a/d. I discovered a catalog of adverse symptoms on their forum site which had been posted by forum members. I could have written many of the posts myself...many mirror exactly the nightmare experiences I've had on this medication. Thus my tad upset scenario!!

Now I know why I am suppressing an anger that wants to erupt inside of me, shakiness inside my body that threateningly lingers, insomnia, argumentiveness (is that a word?? lol) to the point of embarrassment, impatience "hurry up" feelings....and so on.

And I discover in reading the comments about coming off this drug that many give up altogether and remain on a maintenance dose (despite not feeling "well" and having unwelcome side effects) or even having the dosage increased because of the side-effects of withdrawal. Many are, as I have been, prescribed an alternative "calming" medication, sleeping tablets, another a/d....so end up prescribed to yet another drug!!! I have so far weathered the side-effects of withdrawal and have refused the doctor's attempts to prescribe sleeping tablets and a few valium (or similar).

I am miffed that the battle continues to regain ground in my desire to be fully recovered. I really did think it was going to be easier than this to come off the a/d as I was always reassured they were not addictive and even if I had to stay on them the rest of my life (on a maintenance dose) they would cause me no harmful side effects. Now I'm discovering that is not the whole truth!

Prayers on a postcard please! I'm gonna lick this darn thing....and it's not going to defeat me! I am one determined woman who is loving life and loving me.

Right...as you were....rant over! Back to business.....have a great day all!

Oh...and the drug in question is SEROXAT. (best avoided is my advice!...don't start or you might never finish!)

2008-04-05T15:25:00.002+01:00

I am a most undisciplined blogger...I do apologize! I am so busy reading all the other blogs of my friends and acquaintances and forget to get on with mine. So....

Today I am on the second day of my antibiotics as the doctor has an idea my headaches are due to sinus infection. Already I can feel some relief....the wonder of modern medicines. I am so grateful.

I am getting by on about 5 hours of sleep each night and my body seems to be happy with that! I could never be one to sleep the clock around (unless of course I am ill...then bed is my healer...) and I feel I'm entering that age when I've rolled my eyes listening to older people saying "I just wake up and that's it...a night's sleep is over...and so just have to nap in the afternoon." Oh dear! I fear I am turning into one of those old bores too! (lol)

We had the grandchildren over for hot dog dinner last night...my goodness they are growing up so very fast. I keep expecting our one-year-old grandson to take off walking any day but he's enjoying keeping us in suspense. He's such a cutie and has this tongue-out concentration that makes me laugh...

Our two eldest grandsons (7 & 6 yrs. respectively) are well into "Match Attax" football cards so I can't hide the fact that we sell those in our shop....and the kids are getting to an age they realize that too. No respite for nana and grandpa then....football cards it is.

And the grandaughter (4 yrs.) is into anything pink and glittery...she's such a cutie-pie. Love the bones of her.

So that's the grandids.....Josh, Matty, Iona-Mae and Nathaniel...and of course, there's mom & dad too. Ain't life grand!

2008-04-02T14:42:00.002+01:00

There's a "new" me emerging. Spring is in the air and is so full of promise. I can hear birdsong most hours of the day (and some of the night too!) and seeing the primula, daffodils and budding trees surely makes the outdoors an attractive choice after the long winter...even a mild winter such as we've had here this year.

I've been on a 10-week weight management course to learn about healthy eating choices and it has been an eye-opener. I'm enjoying food in a most wonderful way...it's my friend and not my enemy these days and would you believe I actually prefer cucumber, apples, cabbage, carrots, grapes...and that has got to be a first for me! Everything has converged to bring me to this time and place and I'm loving it...and loving ME!

I have left behind 6 years of deep, dark depression and am now embracing a relaxed, happy period in my life. It has been a bit of a roller coaster ride in many ways but it's now become a meandering journey to discovering what it is to live each day with a thankful heart and a good measure of optimism and fun. I can recommend it!

Have a good day readers/friends. Be blessed.

2008-04-01T13:09:00.002+01:00

I know, I know, I've been away far too long. Well I've been a busy lady you see. I've been in recovery mode from my long depression and am feeling very well once again. It's been a pretty windy path with lots of sharp curves but it's been worth going the distance to be well and happy again.

I really want to begin this blog on a regular basis and try and make it more interesting with illustrations and really "nice" posts.

So....if you're visiting and looking for some updates....well, watch this space. I'll be returning very shortly.

2007-08-16T22:40:00.000+01:00

Can I introduce my friend....a schoolfriend since 5th grade. Friendships are so special and I have a few very close friends that I had to leave behind in Canada when I emigrated to the UK. Meet my friend Barb.

We grew up with usual "girlie" spats, exchanging clothes, getting into mischief together, laughing and crying our fair share, sleepovers. Now we share the events of our lives....grandkids, "weighty" issues, troubles and joys.

It's so good that even when life took me across a big, wide ocean....that connection was never broken. Cheers, Barb!

2007-08-16T22:07:00.000+01:00

I have had a lovely couple of days. Yesterday I spent a few hours with the grandchildren and had the absolute joy of having my newest grandson, Nathaniel (7 months) settle and fall asleep while I cuddled him. My memory tells me this is the first time he has ever snuggled down with nana. The remainder of my time was spent "watching" my daughter making a sterling effort to "organize/clear" the mountain of toys which always seems to accumulate in the lounge. Four children (3 boys/1 girl) generate a pile of toys. Just to say......some progress was made....3 strains of the Hallelujah chorus all around :)

Today my hubby and I escaped from our newsagent's business and took a ride to Chester. We did travel through some pretty heavy rainstorms but on arrival in Chester the sun shone :) We had been told there were some very good charity shops to visit (and how we love a good snoop in those places...not that we "need" any more possessions/books etc.). There was a distinct lack of articles we just could not live without...although I did spy in a "regular" furniture shop a most beautiful secretary desk. One minor problem....it was on sale, made from Rosewood in a very plain and appealing design....and was reduced to.......(drum roll please)......just under £600. Needless to say I had to leave it in the shop window in Chester :(.

All in all.....it's been a really nice two days. Hope all who read this blog find something to smile about too.

2007-08-03T15:45:00.000+01:00

I've been de-cluttering our spare room today. It's quite a task. You see, I'm a packrat and keep letters, cards, junk mail, leaflets....well most things! BUT today it's been a challenge to shred and throw out so much stuff. I've kept some "special" cards and some letters to check out at another time...but the pile is going down. I am happy!! :) I've made a start and it sure feels like a small victory and there's plenty more to get on with tomorrow.

Now, if I could just relax in a beautiful pool and let all my bones rest for a bit...that would be perfect but alas, work beckons so must dash.

2007-08-02T15:35:00.000+01:00

There is something blue in the sky? and something fluffy and white? How great it is to see the day bright and sunny!

I was chopping spring onions recently and it brought my late sister to mind! Not because the onions were strong and caused my eyes to tear-up...nope! I had a little whisper in my mind that kept saying...."those onions need to be cut nice and fine....they are way too big...everything in a salad should be small, but identifiable." The advice to cut spring onions smaller came via my sister....probably about 4 or 5 yrs. ago.

It's nice to remember little things like this. She was a stickler for "doing things properly!" It could be irritating at the time....but now I'm careful about how I chop up my spring onions! Oh the lessons of life! lol

2007-08-01T16:04:00.000+01:00

Just a short entry. This is a photo taken in May 2006 when I visited my sister in her new surroundings in Vermillion Court, Princeton, B.C.

It was to be our last visit as she took ill the following December and passed away in the Princeton Hospital in January 2007.

I just wanted to honour her memory here on my blog page. She was a most wonderful sister to me....a real friend...and I sure do miss her. Even the ocean couldn't keep us apart and we shared 7 (to our reckoning) visits with her here in the UK. What happy times these visits were for myself and our family.

I promised I would write in my blog about my sister and what we shared together...and I will do that. It needs some consideration and I am a motormouth so I find it difficult to be brief and to the point!

It's going to be fun bringing my memories to life here on my blog page....so hope you're up for it! I'll be having a go over the next few days....see how dedicated I can be to recording these memories.

RIP Dorna...you were a treasure and you live in my heart forever.

2007-08-01T15:22:00.000+01:00

It's been quite a day! Dental appointment this morning for a clean and polish/check-up and to have a crown re-installed...it doesn't appear to be sitting very well and regularly "clocks out".....

Then on to see our daughter and 4 grandkids (her hubby was at work thus avoiding all the noise and hub-bub of young family life....lol).

Do you remember the days when the catalogue arrived at the house?....well it was such a day at their house. The new, just out Argos catalogue. Boy, do kids soon cotton on to browsing the bible...ermm....I mean, catalogue..... Let's just say there will be no problem getting a Christmas list out of the grandkids...they are happy with almost everything in the catalogue!!!!! eeeks!

We all shared a McDonald's lunch, lots of cuddles, a few falls and spats (as kids seem to have) and all in all the two or three hours was quite pleasant actually! :) I guess I'm biased...they are my grandkids after all!

Warm, humid and sunny/overcast here today....no news of any more flooding in the south of the UK, thankfully. Maybe summer will make an appearance after all :)

Off now to make some preparations for dinner....

2007-07-30T19:18:00.000+01:00

I've been absent from blogging for ages....now feels a good time to get back into gear! Much has happened since I last blogged.

The winter of 2007 began with us worrying about the hospitalization and failing health of my sister, Dorna. And sadly, she passed away at the end of January. I will write again about what it meant to me to have such a friend for my sister. Grief overtook me and I made plans to travel to Canada for the memorial service which was eventually held in Kamloops, B.C. in late spring. The journey to Canada was even more memorable as I was accompanied by my daughter, son-in-law and 4 grandchildren....2 weeks of sleepovers with my grandchildren! :)

I will write in more detail about some of these events again. Just wanted to make a start on my blog once again.

2006-09-29T22:02:00.000+01:00

This has been a busy day.....I have been out shopping with our daughter and the two youngest grandchildren. We visited a continental market in a nearby town and sampled some choice cheeses and specialty cakes. It was raining heavily and the market was outdoors so we didn't browse as long as we'd have liked, had the weather been fine.

Then I was taken shopping to choose something for my birthday gift (I can't say what I chose yet because I'm really not meant to know!!!) Our eldest grandson, Josh, was convinced nana should have a new dress but I declined the offer as I'm not a "dress" person. I love the thought though...isn't it lovely that a young boy of almost 6 yrs. of age could be observant enough to want to give such a nice pressie! :)

After swimming lessons for the two grandsons tonight we all gathered here for a treat of yummy take-away chinese food from a local restaurant. Working in the shop was also fitted in to this busy day...and nana is bushed now...time for bed!

Jane...the book is on order (nice to hear from you!)...thanks for remembering. Things will improve with this depression, given time.

2006-09-23T18:45:00.000+01:00

I've been avoiding updating my blog...depression issues mostly! One of our lovely customers has just returned home from a 3-day retreat and presented me with a little prayer card and a container of holy water. I have no experience of this type of gesture, never being a participant in RC tradition.

Despite not being really sure what the water is meant to signify, I was very touched that she cared about me enough to be praying for my peace of mind and heart over the last few weeks and also that she'd remember me while on retreat. I likely will use the water for my plants as I do not think there is any significance to it having special power or anything....but I like to think of this water as nourishment for my beloved plant....kind of like passing on a blessing iyswim.

I'm not sure how often I will update this blog...I am now keeping some journal notes only for my eyes...a part of what I believe will be a significant process to my recovery from this depression that has haunted me for the last four years.

I feel special and loved today...all through the gesture of this lady who I might add has only recently been bereaved after caring for her husband for many years. Now that is a woman who, despite her own personal grief, has the capacity to think and pray for others.

2006-09-16T12:59:00.000+01:00

I'm yearning for quiet and stillness....haven't found it yet though! I get days like this (even weeks) when the noise of cars, emergency vehicles, kids outside the shop....it just all seems too busy!

A nice long stretch of seashore with some seagulls for company and maybe clear skies and an ending of the day sunset really turns my crank right now....every girl's gotta dream. lol

Whatever you are yearning for....may it be granted. Have a good weekend. :)

2006-09-11T13:04:00.000+01:00

I've been laying low the last few days for no particular reason except not feeling too inspired about writing!

I am being entertained atm by Nick Jr. tv as I have the youngest 2 grandkids here while mommy & Bryn are out at appointments and running errands. I think I've mentioned on my blog previously that their mom & Bryn were married this past summer. Newly married and Bryn taking on 3 young children (what a brave and wonderful fella!) means they don't get much time for just the "two" of them. It's been nice to surprise them by having the 2 grandkids for a few hours. Nana enjoys the company too!

They've been eating a rather varied amount of food since their arrival too....cereal (on arrival), juice/milk, chocolate digestive biscuits and peanut butter/jam sandwiches. Iona-Mae has also polished off an apple inbetween all the rest! Do young children (2.5 yrs. & 4.5 yrs.) have hollow legs I ask myself?????

They are being very good for nana and that's just fine by me. Oops...here comes Iona with the shape-sorter....needs nana....so, til later.....

2006-09-07T10:47:00.000+01:00

What's a woman to do???

My depression is lifting somewhat and I have my regular appointment today with the therapist. I need this appointment! I went to my GP yesterday to get my weight, BP and tablets checked and was very shocked and disappointed to find I had gained a lot of weight since my last appointment (6 wks. ago). Comfort eating and laziness (don't care feelings) seem to go hand in hand with my depression...a very uncomfortable cycle.

I am tired...and sick and tired of feeling like this. I am taking up reading magazines/books that have positive/uplifting suggestions for tackling my depression. I've found a website that I believe will prove helpful to me as well. Wish me luck! This has hung around just too darn long....so much so that I am alternating between feeling sorry for myself and feeling extremely angry that I am not in control.

I am sorry to be so "down" on this blog....I just have to get it out somewhere and this seems as good a place as any to begin. If you find my depression upsets you....sorry, you'll have to give the blog a miss for awhile until my head/heart/actions get it together iyswim.

It's a beautiful, sunny day today and so I'm going out to enjoy it!! Seems a good way to cheer myself up, don't you think?

2006-09-04T05:40:00.000+01:00

Jane, a blogger herself, asks about our favoured parenting site. Advance notice was given that the site would be down for the weekend (just gone) for necessary repairs/re-twigging. I think it should be back in action by today but haven't checked as yet.

Hope you are enjoying Labour Day Weekend, Jane. Hello to my fellow Canadians from the other side of the pond.

Til later.....

2006-09-02T10:39:00.000+01:00

Jane, you replied regarding the excessive cost of activites to accommodate children here in the UK. I totally agree. The cost of amusement parks, zoo/safari parks, museums (public ones are normally free; private ones are not)...and then add into that the cost of any accommodation or food and it makes for a very expensive day out/holiday here.

It is a 6 week period of difficult days for families without the means to travel/visit these attractions. For these families school comes as a welcome addition to their lives....boredom gets less of a hold on their children.

And yes Jane...I love autumn too....the smells, rustling through fallen leaves, the colours....it's magic. Now...just have to set aside some time away from the shop on a regular basis to get out there and enjoy it! lol

2006-09-02T10:27:00.000+01:00

I've been very slack this week with my blog...apologies if anyone is regularly taking a peek. I'm having one of those horrible kind of "blah" weeks which hit me with too much regularity. I may post about my depression at another time...not feeling in the right space atm to do it now.

Suffice it to say I am getting help through my gp and therapist which, although slow to kick in, I firmly believe issues that have plagued me for all of my life will be looked at a bit at a time and I will learn new ways of dealing with those I can handle and get a handle on coping and not moping for the rest of my life.

My therapist has asked me to think about what really makes me happy? It's troublesome when I think on that....not many answers to take back to him when I go this next week. :(

There is an annual air show taking place not too far from us today and I've just spoken to our daughter as they are preparing to take their children to the event....it's a nasty day weatherwise out there (rain, rain, go away.....come again another day....). I suggested she cut holes for head and arms in black bin bags to go over her two eldest boys as they have outgrown their raingear. Somehow we agreed the boys wouldn't exactly find that very amusing! lol But they're all excited and raring to go. They'll have a fab day and having lunch with her dh's parents and off to the air show.

In the UK....some days you just have to go for it...no matter what the weather!!! Looks like it's rainy season for the foreseeable future...although we keep hoping for an Indian Summer, trying to look on the optimistic side!!!

2006-08-31T11:56:00.000+01:00

What do you do when it's raining (pouring!!)?????

Boy oh boy, have we had some heavy rain overnight and this morning! Several customers have reported having a very interrupted sleep last night wondering if their home/pets/sheds would be secure in the morning. The rain has stopped as I write this...but the grey skies of summer's end have arrived.

We are a few days off the beginning of another school year and it is upsetting to hear how many families have had a distressing summer with their kids. A lot of moms are on countdown now for the return to the regularity of school lessons. Many appear not to have done much of anything with their kids during the summer....big YAWN. It makes me sad :( Having a childhood full of adventures, trips to the beach, camping, visits to parks/museums etc. it seems some families can't find the resources/means to do much of this. Just ignore me....feeling for both sides actually....parents and kids who've had an uneventful summer.

Our summer included a celebration of our daughter's marriage and the announcement that grandchild no. 4 is "hatching"....not sure if I've mentioned this in a previoius blog entry! It will make for a happy event in about 5 months' time....firstly there is Christmas/New Year celebrations to experience.

Whatever is filling your days at this time....enjoy the closing days of summer and anticipate the smells and colours of autumn. I love autumn and the falling leaves of every hue of greens/yellows/oranges......and the smell.....divine pleasure! :)

I guess on a rainy day I look forward and get on my laptop....think it's called a LAZY DAY.

2006-08-29T21:14:00.000+01:00

I've been slightly preoccupied as it's been a bank holiday weekend here in merry old! And now my 'puter is playing up...very slow, jerky movements and it's very frustrating! Not a happy bunny today!

Wow...did we have some heavy rain, thunder and lightening last evening. At least two customers today have told me their family pets were scrambling for cover and still nervous even today....long after the rain et al has subsided. Poor little critters.

There isn't much to blog about atm. I think I'm as tired as my poor laptop**....so please, if you are reading my blog with any anxious thoughts because I'm not adding daily blogspots (if that's what they are called...remember I'm new to all of this hehe), it's only because I'm having a bit of a breather while I await favoured son in law to have a peek (he's a techi-wiz on puters)....he'll have me on track in no time at all!

.....til next time..... (oh, and isn't autumn just around the corner!.....it's "in the air")

Jacquie

** the laptop has taken to halting/jerky movements despite having the hard drive replaced and all appearing back in order only a couple of months back....so it's back to square one again! :(

2006-08-27T21:10:00.000+01:00

I've been AWOL for a day or two...it's Bank Holiday Weekend but being in business we don't know about those! Our staff are off and dh and myself keep things ticking over.

We rewarded ourselves today with a lovely lunch out in Liverpool. We went to an American-style restaurant and had the most delicious New England clam chowder with burgers and coleslaw. It made a nice change....it is ages since we've actually gone out for a meal.

The grandkids have paid us a visit this weekend while mom and dad went out to purchase laminate flooring and paint. Mommy (our dd) is expecting grandchild no. 4 (Jan. '07) and I reckon the nesting instinct has hit!

It's neat to see how the grandkids have such individual interests....did I tell you J is into cars? Well now he's discovered a little grouping of Lilliput Lane cottages I bought at a local thrift shop (some chips, but easily disguised!!). Well he's now in seventh heaven as he's got "scenery" to play with too! Today I went into the dining room and found the cottages all lined up along with a grouping of cars...he must have been disturbed mid-play and didn't get them put away. Bet he had a great time...the evidence tells me that :)

I must get disciplined about adding to this blog regularly....thank you Jane for your kind comments. A regular reader...how exciting is that!! hehe

Jacquie

2006-08-23T09:10:00.000+01:00

Isn't this just the most delightful picture? Our little 2 yr. old grandaughter with her fairy costume...fast asleep after a hard session of play.

My previous post was all about my depression and I thought I'd look through my photo files to find this picture....it wants me to say "awww" whenever I look at it.

I have a friend who is worrying atm because she is awaiting diagnosis on a small growth which needs removing....I think this piccie might just make her say "awww" too.....sending you cheery vibes, K.

What is it about little children and babies that can melt our heart? Isn't it just wonderful! I hope this photo give you an "awww" factor too......

The photo of the smiling lady (under this post).....well thats nana!